1-800-356-3970
www.groezingers.com

Dear Groezinger Customer #8675309,
Don’t lose that number. 800-356-3970. You’ll be using it soon if you still have some money left because this months deals are so insanely sweet you’d be completely nuts not to call me. We’re talking about prices so low and discounts so heavy it’s almost like drinking for free. There’s only one thing better than free booze….a free piece of……. That reminds me of when I used to install cable t.v. in Omaha’s super-ghetto-hood 21 years ago. Occasionally, prostitutes in the projects would offer me complimentary services (i.e., a freebie) if I would hook up HBO and Cinemax on the down low. It was far from philanthropy, but I always declined their kind and not-so-tempting offers and hooked up the movie channels without collecting the *booty. I would tell them to “enjoy the freebie”. It was my special way of giving back to the community. Eventually the original charm and fun of the ghetto wore thin and I resorted to selling fine wine in 1989.  The most commonly asked question asked by ghetto hookers is….. does Groezinger’s still have that bangin’ shippin’ deal??  Oh, hell yeah they do………..$60 ships three cases anywhere in the continental U.S. of A.  Seriously. That’s $20 a case when you buy three. Free shipping in California, Oregon, and Washington on orders of 12 bottles or more. That’s free. We ship anywhere except Utah. They’re insane. $35 to $50 ships one case via UPS to most states and if you live in one of the few states that still burns witches then it’ll cost you about $60 for 1 case, $90 for 2 cases, and HOLY-ROTTEN-RYE only $60 for three cases!! These are truly wicked shipping prices making it CHEAP and EASY to get great wine.  $60 ships 36 happy endings.  800-356-3970

HERE’S A SHORT LIST FOR YA. DON’T MISS THE BEST DEAL ON CABERNET EVER. Page 2
1.) 2005 WATERMARK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$40.00 A Groezinger favorite. Diamond Creek’s winemaker’s personal stash. Wonder where he gets the fruit?? It’s one of the best wines you could find for forty bucks. Drinkable, ageable, limited, hard to find, and downright delicious.
2.) 2005 CLOUDVIEW, Estate Red, Pritchard Hill, Napa Valley–$59.00 Their best to date. HUGE!
3.) 2007 CEP, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$24.00 A killer deal in the world of Sonoma Coast pinot noir.
4.) 2005 SHOWKET, Asante Sana, Oakville, Napa Valley–$33.00 Down from $50. Estate grown Oakville Sangiovese and Cabernet Sauvignon make this a seriously great wine for a silly little price.
5.) 2006 SAUSAL, Century Vines Zinfandel, Alexander Valley–$32.00 130 year old vines. Truly a national treasure, you won’t find these historic flavors on Antiques Roadshow. Awesome old vine Zin.
6.) 2006 FRANUS, Zinfandel, Brandlin Ranch, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley–$31.50 Mountain grown,
80 year old vines. Beautiful, balanced flavors are perfect for summer barbeques, grilling, and chugging.
7.) 2006 DOMAINE SERENE, Pinot Noir, Yamhill Cuvee, Willamette Valley–$35.00 Sweet price.
8.) 2006 PELERIN, Syrah, Monterey–$23.00 Pelerin means “pilgrim”. Like witch burning pilgrims. This wine is tantalizing, authentically Rhone-like, and able to compliment a broad spectrum of foods.
9.) 2006 EFESTE, CEIDLEIGH Syrah, Red Mountain, Washington–$30.00 Truly bad-ass Syrah.
10.)  2006 MOUNT EDEN VINEYARDS, Estate Chardonnay, Santa Cruz Mountains–$36.00 Absolutely, positively, one of the best Chard’s on this continent & it’s mysteriously $14 cheaper this year.
11.) 2007 SHAFER, Chardonnay, Red Shoulder Ranch, Carneros–$44.00 If you like big, rich, high octane Chardonnay, this is it. “Red Shoulder” refers to the days when sun burnt children worked the vines.

*booty, n. pl.  booties (boo-tee)   definition-1-plunder taken in time of war  2-goods or property seized by force or piracy 3-a valuable prize, slang-the buttocks

FEATURED RED WINES
Don’t miss out on the greatest deal on Cabernet Sauvignon EVER!  DOMAINE CHARBAY.
And don’t forget about FREE SUMMER STORAGE. I’ll keep it cool until you’re cool.

2005 DOMAINE CHARBAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$25.00
This is the greatest deal on super-premium Cabernet Sauvignon I’ve ever seen during my twenty years of selling wine. Most wine drinkers will never be offered an opportunity like this in there entire lifetime and neither will their children or grandchildren. This offer is only available to customers who receive our paper and/or email newsletter because if I put this up for sale online it would piss wineries off even more than Rudd last month. So you’ll have to phone home, ET. This wine is from the coveted Stag’s Leap District and is comparable to or better than Silverado Reserve, Hartwell, and Shafer at a mere fraction of the price. My good buddy, Marco Karakasevic, made this rock star Cab back in 2005 and since then Charbay’s booze business has exploded forcing their attention to vodkas, tequila, whiskey, rum, moonshine, brandy, and anything else you could possibly distill and sell. That left this $75 Cabernet sitting around with no one paying attention to it since they were all ripped on booze. Then the economy took a splattery crap right into the fan and they lowered the price to $50. Rapidly, the demand for their booze skyrocketed as jilted executives and CEOs drowned their sorrows in delicious fruit infused vodkas and rums from Charbay. Soon, more people were out of work and $50 Cabernet started to go out of fashion. That’s when Marco called me and made me a deal only a drooling idiot would pass up. See where I’m going with this? Before anyone gets called names referring to slobbering stupidity, I’ll supply the facts and flavors. 2005 was a VERY good vintage with a cool growing season and a warm fall. The Stag’s Leap District is an AWESOME place to grow Cabernet…..too bad NONE of them are $25. From the first glance, this wine is impressive. The color is incredibly dark and opaque with aromas that match the intimidating color. Whiffs of cherry, cassis, vanilla, and spice will send you back to Drinkonomics 101, reeducating you on what you can get for TWENTY FIVE bucks. On the palate the wine is like liquid happiness, delivering flavors of cassis, cherry, plum, raspberry, blueberry, and tobacco. The finish is polished and lengthy and keeps bringing you back for more until it’s gone. I’ve been drinking it every day for weeks and it doesn’t ever get boring.  It was in French oak for 26 months and has been bottled for almost two years which means it’s drinking perfectly now and will do so for the next six years if you can resist the temptation. Only 1,000 cases were produced and I bought as much as I could because there’s nothing better for the money and probably never will be again. Now that you have the facts, I could not urge you strongly enough to buy as much of this wine as you possibly can. It’s not like I make a ton of money selling you $25 wine, I’m just trying to hook all y’all up. Only $960 will get you three cases DELIVERED anywhere in the continental U.S.  Shipping is FREE in California, Oregon, and Washington which is just rickdickulous. Now, don’t start slobbering in a helpless spasm of enological ignorance, just pick up that phone and CALL ME AT 800-356-3970. You will be so happy you did and feel so smart and probably like me more or like me again and it will make the whole world a better place to be, filled with love, harmony, and balance. What other wine can do that? The answer: none.

2007 GAMBA, OLD VINE ZINFANDEL, Estate Grown, Russian River Valley, Sonoma–$36.00
Yet another spectacular release of our favorite Sonoma Zinfandel. These vines were planted way back in 1900 and are still working hard just like the 90 year old guy who had to go back to work when his retirement money went away. Gus Gamba came up with an economic strategy to keep his juice flowing….
He lowered the price!!! Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. It used to be $45 and is now $43 on their website and our price is 7 bucks better than that. This wine is a textbook example of what R.R.V. old vine Zin should be. Layered and complex, with vibrant raspberry, wild blackberry, blueberry, pomegranate, and a kiss of oak, this will trip your trigger like a Zinfandel booby trap. 2007 was a rocking vintage for Sonoma and the proof is in this pudding. If it was any thicker, it would be Zinfandel pudding.

***Jim Richards of Paloma Vineyards passed away recently after a battle with cancer. He was loved by us and many others and will be missed very much. Raise a glass and toast Jim as he tends to another vineyard somewhere else, not so far away. Thanks for the great Merlot and all the good times, Jim. God Bless Ya.

PEAY VINEYARDS

Peay’s vineyards are located about one hill away from the Pacific Ocean making this one of the coolest growing sites in California. That creates beautiful, structured fruit with wonderful acidity and vibrant flavors that engulf your senses. Cabernet vines would probably die from the cold, but Pinot, Chardonnay, and Syrah flourish in this beautiful coastal vineyard. Vanessa Wong, former winemaker at Peter Michael, crafts these sensuous and seductive wines at their KICK ASS gravity fed winery in Cloverdale (northern Sonoma). These are super-duper-ultra-premium, extremely limited, and very fairly priced wines. Enjoy!

2007 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast–$47.50
This is Peay’s best Chardonnay to date, rivals any Chardonnay from California, and is knocking on Burgundy’s back door. The vibrant fruit is bright like sunshine with concentrated flavors that unwind endlessly on the palate usually causing drinkers to cuss and touch themselves. This spectacular 2007 has too many flavors to list, but here’s a few; pear, lemon curd, granny smith apple pie, coconut, bread dough, jasmine tea, wet stone, fairy dust and all kinds of other magical stuff that doesn’t come in any other wine. There are hardly any Chardonnays of this quality, and those few comparable wines are at least twice the price. This ain’t cheap but it is truly GREAT wine. If you want the best Chardonnay in California, get this. The ‘07 Peay will make most other Chards taste like unfiltered rat piss. I’m not kidding, it’s that good.
2007 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$38.00
Peay’s two flagship Pinot’s, Pomarium and Scallop Shelf, are $55 to $65 bucks. This is an estate cuvee from the same vineyards, with the same purity, intensity, and flavor profile of its pricier siblings. Only 480 cases were produced and with this quality > price ratio, it’s sure to sell out quickly. Cherry dominates the flavor profile by whipping the submissive nuances of sandalwood, forest floor, and chocolate until they behave and let Cherry dominate the finish. The finish is complex and long, and when it finally ends, it starts back up for a second finish. Bonus finish! Hook yourself up. Here’s a few more from Peay…..
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Pomarium, Sonoma Coast–$50.00
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Syrah, Les Titans, Sonoma Coast–$41.00
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Syrah, La Bruma, Sonoma Coast–$41.00

VICE VERSA made by PAUL HOBBS

Here’s a new one for you. Paul Hobbs makes these wines and they are killers. So was the price of the Cabernet ($110) until the Groezinger chop shop cut and slashed it in half making it one of the best deals going. This is another special newsletter feature (no internet) because they would cut me off like John Bobbit’s weiner if they saw this rickdickulous pricing. Hook yourself up and I won’t tell anyone.

2005 VICE VERSA, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$240.00
This switch hitter has the best of *bolth worlds. Beckstoffer ToKalon fruit from Oakville and mountain fruit from Stagecoach Vineyards on Atlas Peak make this a turbo-charged-super-pedigree-hybrid Cabernet that would be $110 in all other economic conditions. This is by far the best of their first three vintages giving up flavors of cassis concentrate, bittersweet chocolate, anise, and sweet, perfectly integrated oak.
2005 VICE VERSA, Syrah, Ulises Valdez Vineyard, Russian River Valley–$40.00
The Syrah is an ass whooper. Black-purple in color with great extract and concentration, it possesses a giant mouthfeel with flavors that all but attack you. Classic flavors of black plum, smoked meat, earthy spice, and black licorice bring to mind thoughts of lamb chops, grilled rib eyes, and braised short ribs. It’ll stain your teeth pretty good so we’re gonna throw in some whitening strips if you get more than six.

2007 KELLY FLEMING, Sauvignon Blanc, Napa Valley–$26.00
When I tried this awesome new S.B., I thought, “This stuff is so good I could drink it all day long.” Delicious flavors of citrusy, tropical, melony fruits will keep you entertained and coming back for more.
A hint of French oak rounds out the vibrant fruit and gives this great S.B. an extra touch of class. (ETC)

*bolther, n. pl. bolthers (bowl-thur) definition-a person who pronounces the word “both” with an invisible “L” between the “O” and the “T”