Dear Groezinger Customer,
Things are lookin’up! They got that nasty oil spill under control, Lindsey is outta jail and in rehab, recreational marijuana is almost legal, gays can get married, nobody talks about the war anymore, and hopefully the current wine shipping laws will be changed making it illegal for wineries to ship to most states, bringing back the good old bootlegging days and making Groezinger’s a priceless resource for illegally trafficking your wine around the country. In addition to that, school is starting so you’ll be able to get laid on your lunch hour again without the worry of scarring your kid’s fragile mind for 20 years. And when things couldn’t get better, here comes this awesome newsletter that must be more thrilling than ripping off the black plastic and ruining the centerfold of your brand new Hustler. This month’s edition is loaded with smoking hot new releases, a couple repeats you snoozed on, and some deals that would be stupid to pass up. If you want to send an email order, send it to email@example.com. It’s usually easier to call us on the phone for orders, plus it’s safer if you live in Pennsylvania or New Hampshire just in case they kick in your door and confiscate your computer as evidence that you’ve been buying wine from somebody other than them. Like casual sex in the seventies, it’s fun, safe, and easy to buy wine from Groezinger’s but the only thing you’ll catch is a buzz. The most frequently asked question by Lindsey Lohan in rehab is, “Does Groezinger’s still have that sweet three case shipping deal?” You bet your SCRAM Bracelet and breathalyzer we do!! We ship three cases of wine anywhere in the continental U S of A for only $100. West coast states are about $20 a case on shipping. Single cases ship for $35 to $65 depending on where you’re sending it. Out of state orders are tax free and we will store your purchase at no cost to you until the weather cools down . 800-356-3970
THE FALL RELEASES ARE POURING IN WITH AWESOME WINES FROM ’06, ’07, AND 2008
1.) 2006 SHAFER, Hillside Select Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District, Napa Valley–$205.00 The ’06 Hillside got a 97 Parker rating and if you think you’ll want some of the 99-100 point ’07 vintage next year then you should call me now.
2.) 2007 SHAFER, “Relentless” Syrah, Napa Valley–$55.00 Not that we base everything on points, but this got 94 of them. It’s big, dark, ultra-ripe, and hard to tell if it’s from Napa or Barossa. In fact, if you don’t like Syrah, you’ll probably love this.
3.) 2006 RAMEY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$34.00 Here’s one that you shouldn’t pass up. This wine comes from exceptional vineyard sources and was $51 until EVERYONE WOKE UP!! Dark and heady, smooth and steady, this is a screaming deal at $34 with a 90 point rating. That’s only 37 cents a point compared to $2.27 a point for the Shafer Hillside.
4.) 2007 KOBALT, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$90.00 I feel so dirty selling wine based on ratings but I’m working through it with therapy. Since our July edition, this wine received a 95 point rating from Wine Spectator-tots adding credibility and clout to our rogue review. The owner of Kobalt, Kevin “acid casualty” Carriker would implode if we posted this for less than $90, but as always, when you buy a case from Groezingers you get the wine for 10% off the full retail price so it would be nine bucks less.
The other wines here are already discounted, but in this very special case you’ll have to do the difficult math to calculate the price.
5.) 2006 DELILLE CELLARS, Grand Ciel, Cabernet Sauvignon, Red Mountain, Washington–$135.00 Holy shit! This is infuckingcredible Cabernet. When you’re ready to stop paying ridiculous prices for designer-label wines that won’t age and don’t really deliver on an international level, get some of this. Multiple layers of complex flavors unwind and give you several tours of blueberry, blackberry, black cherry, currant, cedar, and milk chocolate with each sip. The oak is perfectly integrated with the finest of silky tannin and loads of powerful fruit. This is one of the best Cabernets I’ve had from America and I’m stashing some in my cellar to drink in ten years and am insisting that you get some of this and stop sending your money to Blonde or Greening Beagle.
6.) 2006 GRGICH HILLS, Estate Grown Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$54.00 Don’t laugh at me for going mainstream, but they finally nailed one home. Seriously, this stuff is excellent. Call for details. Wake up old-timers, Grgich is back and he’s still wearing that hat and screwing women half his age, which means his girlfriends are about 75 years old now. Viva-Viagra!!!
7.) 2008 BEDROCK, Pinot Noir, Rebecca’s Vineyard, Russian River Valley-$40.00 From DRC cuttings, 225 cases
If you love truly awesome Pinot with authentic Burgundian characteristics, this is your wine and you’d be stupid not to get some.
8.) 2006 DOMAINE SERENE, Winery Hill Pinot Noir, Willamette Valley, Oregon–$68.00 Better than Evenstad
9.) 2008 KETCHAM, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley–$35.00 Estate grown fruit, Dijon clones, only 493 cases prod.
10.) 2008 STRAIGHT LINE, Pinot Noir, Anderson Valley, Mendocino–$27.00 This is declassified Coulior Pinot from 2008, a blend of Monument Tree and Roma’s Vineyards. Super premium Pinot at a price that’s hard to say no to. Get set straight.
11.) 2007 COULIOR, Pinot Noir, Roma’s Vineyard, Anderson Valley, Mendocino–$38.00 Made by John Grant from Turley Cellars, this Pinot balances the Anderson Valley terroir with intense fruit creating a perfect exhibition of what California Pinot can be if winemakers quit making Pinot to please Cabernet lovers. This is great wine at a sweet price. Pronounced “cool-war”.
Don’t miss out on these new releases. Call soon due to limited supply, high scores, and thirsty wine addicts.
2007 LAIL VINEYARDS, J. Daniel Cuvee Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$115.00
The J. Daniel cuvee has become a benchmark of Napa cult wines over the past ten years. The 2007 vintage received a 96+ rating from Parker. That’s basically the same score Eagle, Harlan, Schrader, Bond, and 100 Acre get except Lail doesn’t rip your anus in half when they sell you the wine. They also won’t laugh at you for buying them another yellow Ferrari or a new Palm Tree. This wine is dense, dark, focused, and concentrated, delivering a truly world class California Cabernet that would make Chateau Margaux proud. Parker said, and I quote………
“Lail’s flagship wine is the J. Daniel Cuvee. The 2007 is living up to all of its promise when tasted last year from barrel. There are 850 cases of this 100% Cabernet Sauvignon from four separate sites in Napa (in Calistoga, Howell Mountain, Coombsville, and Rutherford). A dense purple color is accompanied by notes of graphite, licorice, black cherry liqueur, black currants, crushed rocks, spice box, and cedar. With Pauillac-like aromatic and flavor profiles, this opulent, full-bodied, rich 2007 reveals superb purity as well as definition. It may even grow in stature over the next five years, and is capable of lasting 20-25+ years”………..I couldn’t have said it better myself. We’re one of the first retailers in the country to have this so call us and get it while the getting’s good.
2009 PHOENIX RANCH, Cinsault, Bechthold Vineyard, Lodi California–$17.00 pronounced (sin-so)
Usually Cinsault is a blending grape used in Chateauneuf-du-Pape and ironically there is more Cinsault planted in France than there is Cabernet Sauvignon. This modestly priced wine delivers loads of satisfaction and a wallop of flavor. Simply put, this is highly enjoyable and very entertaining to drink with a unique flavor and an equally unique price. And don’t give me this shit about “I don’t know if I like Cinsault” or “Maybe I’ll try one and see if I like it” or “We don’t drink Cinsault”. Because when you try this you will know that you like Cinsault and therefore you will be a Cinsault drinker. It tastes like a blend of Syrah, Petit Sirah, and Grenache with a super friendly texture and a plump mouthfeel. These Cinsault vines were planted by Mike Grgich when he was a child and are now 130 years old offering up complex flavors, smooth tannin, and a complexity hardly ever found in $17 wines. This is one of those wines you buy a case of and enjoy the hell out of while your Cabernets age & mature.
2007 DeLILLE CELLARS, “D2”, Columbia Valley, Washington–$40.00 (51%ML, 40%CS, 7%CF, 2%PV)
“D2” refers to the “second label” from DeLille Cellars although it’s hardly reminiscent of second labels from Napa wineries which are usually compromised versions of their more expensive stuff. “D2” is also the name of the grand route du vin, the wine road that goes through the chateau region of Bordeaux. I know this sounds sac religious, but I think this wine is better than any $40 wine from Napa. This stuff is INTENSE and has
truly authentic Bordeaux qualities rarely found in Napa wines other than Lail. Dark purple in color, the D2’s aromas fly outta the glass, notifying you that you just bought some bad-ass wine. The D2 is seamless with flavors of plum, black cherry, currant, tobacco, caramel, mocha, and spice, all sewn together with 100% new French oak. The new oak is chewed up and perfectly integrated by the powerful black fruit in this world class wine. And seriously, don’t even start up with this, “I don’t like Washington wines” stuff, or “We just drink California reds” or, “Oh no, not Washington”. In fact, if you don’t buy this wine I should sell your information to some telemarketers and close the store, maybe burn it, and leave the wine business forever because nobody really cares about the GREAT wines I find unless they come from this mostly homogenized valley, the home of free run juice.
2007 ROUND POND ESTATE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Rutherford, Napa Valley–$50.00
Let’s pretend you don’t like Washington or Oregon wines and you can’t stand or stomach wines from Mendocino or Santa Cruz and the only wines you really enjoy are Napa Valley Cabernets. If that is the case, then this is your wine. Round Pond’s winemaker, Brian Brown, trained in Australia and then in Napa where he worked as assistant winemaker at Vineyard 29. There he worked with Phillippe Melka and Ceila Masyczek where he learned cutting edge techniques that guarantee a minimum score of 94 points on every vintage, no matter what. Because of that experience the Round Pond Cabernet has the same luscious, intense, thick, rich qualities of much more expensive wines. The typical “Rutherford dust” in this wine is covered and coated with dark, dank flavors and a huge, rich presence on the palate. Nothing dusty about it. Notes of black cherry, cherry, earthy cassis, French oak, cocoa, and blackberry will sing to your senses and curl your toes. Check out this awesome 2007 Cabernet from one of the new kids on the block. This Cab is big, forward, and balanced and will satiate the most critical of aficionados.
THIS IS A SUPER SECRET DEAL ON A CABERNET YOU CAN GET ONLY IF I KNOW YOU–$25.00
This winery would cut my balls off if they new I was doing this, so only good customers who I know well will get a chance at this. Don’t have your friend call because I don’t sell dope to strangers. That way if associates of this winery try to bust me on cheaping out this AWESOME Cabernet I can tell them I have no idea what the hell they are talking about. The wine is mountain Cabernet from a very famous appellation, received real good scores, drinks great now and will improve for 4-5 more years. It’s dark and concentrated with black fruits, earthy goodness, and a $25 price tag. This is basically my next Charbay type deal except the supply is WAY smaller. Please identify yourself before asking about this wine so I’m not a dick to you when you inquire. The price is $25.00 and is normally about $45-50 making this a half price deal. It’s like two for one, buy one get one free, an unexpected threesome, or if you bought a new car and they just gave you another one for free just because they like you. $25.00–You need to call me to find out what this is all about so pick it up and dial 800-356-3970. $25
2006 SCHOOLHOUSE, Estate Pinot Noir, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley–$85.00
I have about 2 cases left of the greatest Pinot outside of Burgundy. Not that you want to drink this when you are 95, but this Pinot can age and develop for up to 40 years. Seriously. Tell me one other wine from California that can do that and I’ll tell you that you are full of crap. Ever drank a 1963 California Pinot that tastes like DRC? Probably not. But, at least you can get a 2006 California Pinot reminiscent of the finest Burgundy in the word.
2007 FORT ROSS, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$25.00
If you don’t want $85 Pinot Noir but still want to get your world rocked you should jump on this. It is, by far, the best deal I have on Pinot. Some of you have bought it but most of you are staring at the wall or peeing down your leg. I’m not selling you cheap wine, I’m selling you a kick ass $40 Pinot for $25. This has been in our last couple letters, but y’all are missing the boat. Don’t hesitate to wrap you lips around this very well endowed Pinot.
2008 PEAY, “LA BRUMA”, Estate Syrah, Sonoma Coast–$41.00
Need something to go with your lamb chops? This is it. Peay grows incredible fruit on the Sonoma Coast. Cool climate creates perfect structure with supple and forward flavors of blackberries, boysenberry, lead pencil, and sweet smoky bacon fat. This wine is ultra-enjoyable with silky smooth fine tannins. Get the best, forget the rest.
FEATURED WHITE WINES
2009 BREGGO, Pinot Gris, Anderson Valley, Mendocino–$24.00
Judging from the last two newsletters it seems that nobody is really interested in Chardonnay anymore. Sooooo, here’s a kick ass white wine that doesn’t rhyme with ‘tard. This juice is jumpin’, jammin’ and built for slammin’.
Mendocino is famous for its crippling marijuana and now Breggo has put them on the map for medicinal quality Pinot Gris. This will heal your craving for something other than Chard with a nose full of nectarine, honeydew melon, and Mandarin orange followed by flavors of key lime, white peach, honey, and white pepper. Crisp acidity makes this an excellent food wine and a refreshing diversion to Chardonnay, which seems to be out of fashion.
2009 CROCKER STARR, Sauvignon Blanc, Napa Valley–$26.00
Winemaker Pam Starr has nailed another perfect SB. Coming from north and south valley vineyards with grapes being harvested over a 45 day period, this wine is complex and exhibits the finest qualities of SB and leaves the grassy cat piss flavors out in the barn for the Kiwi’s and the rats to enjoy. Flavors of pear, guava, peach, and citrus infused minerality carry through to the long, lively, zippy finish. 95% of the wine was fermented in stainless steel barrels and 5% was done in new French oak for a crisp finish with a nice presence on the palate.
FEATURED WINE STORE FOR SALE
Groezinger Wine Company is for sale. After 22 years of retailing fine wines I’m changing things up and pursuing less intoxicating avenues of the wine business. If y’all know anyone who is extremely knowledgeable about retailing wine and wants one hell of an opportunity in Napa, please have them contact me. And don’t call me to bullshit about this unless you’re buying the store or at least buying some wine because I’m still busy selling wine and packing boxes. The ability to operate a tape gun at a rapid rate of speed is a valuable asset for this position.