1.) 2005 PARADOR, Red Table Wine, (53%Cab/47%Temperanillo) Napa Valley-$39.00 Your first bad mistake of 2010 was not picking up some of this Ribera del Duero style wine from our friend Steve Ventrello. Deeply concentrated, wildly complex, food friendly, and age-worthy for years to come, this is a block buster that you cannot afford to miss!! Redeem yourself with a case order. We can’t say enough about this great wine. Call us up and we’ll talk your ear off.
2.) 2005 PARAS VINEYARDS, Merlot, Mt. Veeder, Napa Valley-$29.00 Your second bad mistake of 2010 was not picking up any of this amazing and ridiculously well priced Merlot that kicks the hell out of most Cabs at twice the cost.
Explosive, extracted, jammy, yet incredibly balanced and structured, this is another one we simply must insist you try.
3.) 2005 BARREL 27, “Head Honcho”, Syrah, Santa Barbara County-$25.00 Can you see where we’re going here? This is pound for pound every bit as good if not better than the Charbay Cab at the same price. Don’t say you don’t drink Syrah! This is a massive red wine that puts many more expensive wines to shame. Shame on you if you don’t try some!
4.) 2004 SPELLETICH CELLARS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$25.00 A solid producer of great Cabernet. A great vintage. Five plus years of bottle age. Used to be $50, now only $25. What more could you possibly ask for? .!
7.) 2006 LADERA, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$36.00 Declassified Howell Mtn. and Lone Canyon fruit. . .
8.) 2006 LE PETIT VICE, Cabernet Sauvignon, (Stage Coach & To Kalon Vineyards) Napa Valley-$45.00
Everyone needs a vice, and this one is a relative bargain when compared to crack, heroin, hookers, or gambling, and leaves your breath fresher than cigarettes. Paul Hobbs squeezed layers of deep black fruit, cocoa bean, and smoldering cedar into 245 cases worth of this spectacular Cab. Warning-this particular Vice is extremely addictive. Get a stash.
9.) 2006 ILSLEY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District, Napa Valley-$50.00 By now this wine needs no introduction, as we’ve been selling it to you from the get go. In case you’re a newbie or have amnesia, we call this “smart man’s Hillside Select” due to its proximity and similarity to Shafer’s flagship. The 2006 is in need of a long decanting or a few more years in the cellar, but shows all of the power and expansiveness of both the vineyard and the vintage.
10.) 2007 STANTON, Petit Sirah, St. Helena, Napa Valley-$41.00 There ain’t nothing Petit about it. Doug’s best effort to date proves (to even the biggest skeptic) that this varietal is as serious as any grown in the Valley. Find out for yourself.
11.) 2006 HARRINGTON, Pinot Noir, Brosseau Vineyard, Chalone AVA-$33.00 A very serious Pinot from a true garagiste, this strikes the perfect chord between Old and New world style vino. Call us and we’ll tell you all about it . . .

FEATURED RED WINES

2005 WATERMARK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$30.00
You may be asking yourself, “Why is this so cheap?” or “What’s wrong with this?” or “Why are these guys giving this wine away?” If you are then you might be the kind of person that turns down blowjobs, hates paid vacation, never skips work, enjoys hangnails, feels it’s wasteful to buy new pillows, and thinks warts aren’t worth a doctor’s visit. Hopefully you aren’t like that, and hopefully you’re calling us and ordering some Watermark at this ridiculously low price. Don’t be scared. We can’t go down on you over the phone…but we will talk dirty to you. Where else can you get a fluff job and world class, mountain grown, ultra-high pedigree Napa Cabernet for thirty bucks? Nowhere but here. Here’s the deal. We bought the last 40 cases of this at a sweet price and when it’s gone, there’s no more 2005. You’ve had it and you know it’s great. Now it’s $30 instead of $45 so quit tugging on your hangnail and stimulate the California wine business. Haven’t you heard that Napa Valley is taking it in the ass harder than Joslyn James on PGA tour? So throw us a bone and we’ll give it right back to ya. You’ll feel like you’re overdosing on Viagra when you taste this and realize you only paid $30. In fact, it’s so good that you’ll probably whip it out and show it to all of your friends and make them taste it. I guess by now it doesn’t matter what we say so we’ll tell you this fruit comes from a place where Diamond Creek’s winemaker works. It possesses power and finesse, delivers a wallop of a punch, and will make you wonder why the hell you’ve been sending your money to those people with fancy stationary, quarter mile long driveways, and G-5’s.
Tasting notes: it tastes just like Diamond Creek, not quite as hard, a lot friendlier, and $145 cheaper.

2006 SCHOOLHOUSE, Estate Pinot Noir, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley–$85.00
John and Nancy at Schoolhouse Vineyards release this wine on Valentine’s Day every year. Why on Valentine’s Day and not a few days before so you can actually have it on Valentine’s Day? The answer is simple. This stuff is so good, they want to make sure you don’t drink it with someone you’re just trying to bang only to find out they’re a complete and utter palateless idiot that wouldn’t understand what good Pinot is even if they had every orifice filled with DRC. Speaking of DRC, that is where this legend started back in the 1940’s. Inglenook (currently Rubicon) acquired cuttings from Domaine Romanee-Conti in the 1940’s and planted them in Rutherford. Andre Tchelistcheff said it was too hot for Pinot in Rutherford and told them to plant Cabernet and get that Pinot outta there. The Pinot cuttings were taken and planted on Spring Mountain in a magical microclimate that produces the best and most ageable Pinot Noir in this hemisphere. We had the 1963, 1966, 1972 and 1974 Schoolhouse Pinots in recent years to be left in awe by their unbelievable youth. Try that with your “cult” wines. This Pinot boasts the most Burgundian flavors of cherry cola, clove, mineral, spice, strawberry and tobacco leaf seamlessly meshed together making for a wine unsurpassed by very few Frenchmen in the history of winemaking. Before sharing this, make sure your friend, lover, partner, or spouse plans on being extra nice and is aware that Burgundy is a place in France in addition to being a popular flavor of box wines.

2006 SCHOOLHOUSE, Mescolonza, Venerable Red Wine, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley–$40.00
Yet another practically unobtainable wine from the winery that is way beyond cult. Schoolhouse followers are in a secret society that is so protective of these wines that their wines are rarely shared with others. We call this the Chateauneuf-du-Pape of Spring Mountain due to the blend of Zinfandel, Petite Sirah, and a bunch of ancient Rhone varietals like Alicante Bousche, Grand Noir, Cinsault, and some other stuff nobody remembers because the vines are so old. The wine is field blended prior to fermentation producing a wine unique from anything else in Napa. This is a great food wine that is versatile, intense, eloquent, and unique giving you a thrilling diversion from Cab, Cab, and more Cab. Raspberry, blackberry, rose petal, spice, and mushroom float on a fat mid-palate and are stretched and extended for you with firm acidity and fuzzy tannin. This wine is like Burning Man, Grateful Dead tour, the Monet Museum on ‘shrooms, smoking salvia, or being abducted by aliens. You just won’t understand it unless you try it.

2006 STONE EDGE FARM, “Surround”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sonoma County–$23.50     900 cases produced
Did you see Sarah Palin give herself the stranger on T.V.? Instead of sitting on her hand and rubbing one out, she writes on her hand and pretends to be someone who can remember stuff. “Energy, tax cut, and lift American spirit”. What she meant was, if you still have the energy to pick up your phone, call Groezinger’s and order some tax free wine and we’ll throw in a pack of smokes. Something like that. This stuff is holistically and organically farmed which I’m pretty sure means that hippies can drink it in church. 76% Cabernet and 24%Merlot from four separate vineyards make this wine complex, supple, immediately drinkable, ageworthy, extremely intense, and very sophisticated for a wine of this modest price. In a pre-recession world this would’ve been over $50. Who wants a new Cabernet for $55? Nobody. Who wants a new Cab for $23.50? That’s realistic. You’ll love the full throttle flavors of black cherry, velvety cedar, cassis, herb, and mushroom all wrapped up in 65% new French oak. Getting this wine is like giving yourself the Lee-Press-On-reach-around-stranger with a red wig on. You’ll find it hard to believe it’s your $24 wine and not somebody’s $60 Cab in your hand when you finally pop it. This wine will actually give you energy, save you money, and lift your spirits.

MORE INCREDIBLY COOL STUFF

VERTICAL of SHAFER, Hillside Select, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap Dist., Napa Valley, in 3 Liter Bottles
One ea. of 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 signed & in original wood boxes
Originally I was planning on buying a house or something real fast with this vertical. Now that the time has come to take this twelve vintage and one-of-a-kind vertical to market, the economy couldn’t be worse. That means if you’re one of the few and the proud that actually buys something like this, you’ll be getting an incredibly good deal. The only recorded sale of a vertical of Shafer Hillside in 3 liters was for a six vintage vertical that sold for $130,000 at the Napa Valley Wine Auction. Granted they threw in lunch for six and it was a charity but I think you can get an idea of how rare and expensive a lot like this could/used to sell for. Instead of six vintages there’s twelve, a case of three liters. As far as I know, this is the only twelve vintage vertical of Hillside three liters outside of Shafer’s caves, unspeakably rare. This is an incredible run of highly rated vintages from Elias Fernandez and the Shafers worth every penny–$30,000.00
If you purchase this set we will prepare for you and five others an incredible meal during your next visit to Napa.

2006 TOFANELLI, Estate Zinfandel, Napa Valley–$26.00      627 cases produced
Once upon a time this was about $40 a bottle and well worth it. Now we can get it to ya for a lot less which makes chugging this Zinfandel even more fun than before. Now that’s fun! Old, dry farmed, head trained vines pull flavor from deep within the gravelly loam soil giving the finished juice qualities and complexities rarely found in a $26 bottle of wine. You’ll get flavors of raspberry jam, black cherry, candied orange rind, cola, black tea, cigar box, spice and earth in this Zinfandel making this one of the most complex Zins from Napa. Vine age, dry farming, and a light use of new oak allow the fruit to show its true colors unlike many over manipulated, over oaked, over-everythinged Zinfandels. Plus, the label is a picture of Vince Tofanelli’s grandma, Irene DalPorto, on a motorcycle. All that for $26. Who Dat?!?

2006 TOFANELLI, Estate Charbono, Napa Valley-$26.00     268 cases produced
We used to sell this one for $40 a bottle too. Now we can sell it to you for less than we used to pay for it. Charbono, like Petit Sirah, is one of those grapes that has long been endangered by the California Cab craze, despite it’s ability to produce one of the most unique, powerful, and age worthy wines in the New World. In fact, there are less than 40 acres of Charbono left in the Valley. What can be done about this? You can support Vince Tofanelli’s Charbono preservation society by purchasing a few bottles of this wine. Almost black in the glass, exotic flavors and aromas of boysenberry and blueberry, pipe tobacco, Turkish hash, crushed rock, and bondage leather seduce the palate, frazzle the senses, and electrify the evening, all in a classy and more or less legal format. You can drink this now with a fat steak or gorgonzola or lay it on it’s side for 10+ years. This is not a $26 wine. It’s a $40 wine you can get for $26. What are you waiting for?

FEATURED WHITE WINES

2006 FORT ROSS, Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast-$20.00
It seems that crazy screaming deals are the theme this month. The good folks at Fort Ross are moving into their 2007s, had a few extra cases of the 2006 laying around, and since we keep their wines on our shelves all year round, they cut us a smokin’ deal on what they had left. Not being too greedy or too smart, we’re passing the savings onto you. Now you can drink top notch Sonoma Coast Chard at the same price as Napa Sauvignon Blanc. Rich and creamy without the least bit of flabbiness, layers of poached pear, green apple skin, lemon tart, jasmine flower and mineral might just fool ya into believing that you are drinking an $80 Burgundy, except when you finish off the bottle you’ll realize you have three more left. How cool is that? Deals like this are simply too good to pass up, even when times are tough. Call us.

2008 TALLULAH, “Como”, White Table Wine (Marsanne Blend), Stage Coach Vineyard, Napa Valley-$24.00
Mike Drash liked the name Tallulah so much he bought the company. After years of making wine for other people, at De Loach, Far Niente, and most recently Luna, Mike bought Tallulah and its flawless reputation for finely crafted Rhone varietals. Tallulah’s first release under his stewardship is this utterly slammable blend of 52% Marsanne, 37% Chardonnay, and 11% Viognier, which promises great things to come from this brand. A microscopic 160 cases of this wine were produced from the coveted and immaculately farmed Stagecoach vineyard. Spiced pear, sliced white peach, honeysuckle, and wet rock flavors are the perfect accompaniment for up coming Springtime activities, like cleaning, visits to the tanning salon, power-raking your lawn, trying to restring that piece-of-shit weed-whacker that won’t run because of the gummed up two stroke gas/oil mixture you forgot to drain out last fall, counting bloated rats in the deep end of your pool, or fixing sprinkler heads the redneck snow removal guys scraped out of your dead, un-aerated lawn. It also pairs well with Easter egg hunts, new crop garlic, line caught trout, baby salad greens, braised rabbit, and sex, sex, and more sex. Seriously though, this is great with sex. Even if you’re alone. Still. Again. About ready to buy it. Haven’t had it since November. 2008. Seriously though, you should really check out this wine which is far classier, eloquent, precise, sexier than this review would imply. The finish is incredible and it’s really, really tasty. 800 356 3970. Call us!

LIKE TIGER WOODS’ COUSIN TONY SAYS ABOUT HOOKERS, THESE WINES ARE GRRRRRREAT!!!

1.) 2006 O’SHAUGHNESSEY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley-$68.00 Wasssup with you not wanting this last month? Maybe you spent yer money on lacrosse sticks and shotguns. You better remain faithful to us or we’ll come to your gated community and throw magnums through your windshield. That’s right, we CRAY-ZEE!!
2.) 2006 GRACE FAMILY, Blank Vineyards, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$125.00 Philanthropize a few of these into you cellar and you’ll make the world a better place. Dick Grace donates ALL THE PROFIT from his wines to third world countries to build schools and hospitals. It’s so much better to provide help to suffering children than to help the Hundred Acre guy buy another Ferrari or to help Beckstoffer get another vineyard. Think about it…800-356-3970
3.) 2006 OUTPOST, Cabernet Sauvignon, True Vineyard, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley–$79.00 We asked for this and they said NO in’07, NO in ’08, & NO in ’09. Only 350 cases produced, and we’ve got all you want in 2010. Ultra elegant and silky, this is expressive of Howell Mountain without the tannic overload or abusive oak interference.
4.) 2006 DUNN, Cabernet Sauvignon, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley–$71.00 Maybe you don’t want fancy-assed new-fangled Howell Mtn. Cab because you want the wine that started the whole Howell Mtn. craze over thirty years ago.
5.) 2006 DUNN, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$62.00 A good portion of this wine is from the old Howell holler.
6.) 2007 SEAN MINOR, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$17.00 The good thing that comes from a crappy economy is high quality cheap wine. $100 juice is going into $50 bottles, $50 juice is going into $25 bottles and so on. This is about $36 delicious for $17, a sweet deal. It’s all handcrafted Napa goodness, not purchased bulk juice. Flavors of black cherry, cassis, chocolate and tobacco will appease your fussy palate while saving you money for a new three iron.
7.) 2008 SEAN MINOR, Pinot Noir, Napa Carneros–$17.00 Need some tasty Pinot to pour for the whores on your next “golf trip?” It’s smooth and silky with a great mouthfeel and loads of fruit, sure to please even the sluttiest of sluts.
8.) 2007 ST. INNOCENT, Pinot Noir, Momtazi Vineyard, Willamette Valley, Oregon–$36.00 This was Tiger’s old house wine before he started pouring Le Petite Vice Cab and Folie A Deux’s Menage a Trois. It also happens to be the best ’07 Pinot from Oregon on our scorecard, and we’re not cheating or lying. Not at work, not on the links, not in bed.
“A Magnum® full of Pinot Noir” is what wine savvy hookers call Tiger’s giant and relentlessly insatiable one wood.
9.) 2007 ALTROCEDRO, Malbec Reserva, Mendoza, Argentina–$32.00 This stuff is so good and has so much terroir it’s hard to believe Malbec came from France and not from the mountains of Mendoza. This wine makes me think of being raped by 8 smoking hot Argentinean supermodels and winning a new set of Nike blades & woods for surviving.
10.) 2008 BROWN, Zinfandel, Napa Valley-$33.00 This stuff is as jammy as the new Phish tour without all the ecstasy.

FEATURED RED WINES

2005 PARADOR, Red Table Wine, (53%Cabernet Sauvignon/47%Temperanillo), Napa Valley-$39.00
Like Tiger Woods, we like to lead off with something big, dark, and swingin’ in every one of our twelve monthly newsletters. Usually that would entail a big fat and bangin’ Napa Cab, but this month we’re getting all freaky on you and adding a little latin passion to the mix. Parador is perhaps California’s only successful effort at capturing the power, complexity, and spirit of the great wines of Spain’s Ribera del Duero region. Winemaker and friend Steve Ventrello sources these grapes from two stellar vineyards in Napa; the Cabernet is from the incredible Hossfeld vineyard just south of Stag’s Leap, known for its tiny berries and slow but even ripening and long hang-time, and the Temperanillo is sourced from the famous Rancho Chimiles vineyard where cuttings from Spain were planted specifically for Steve. Thick and heavy black cherry and cassis Cabernet flavors integrate flawlessly with the forward red fruit, violet, dried herb, crushed rock, smoked meat and leather characteristics of Temperanillo, all wrapped up in a moderate dusting of ripe and velvety tannins. The Parador Red pairs well with anything big red wines pair with (especially lamb), tastes great on its own, and will continue to develop for the next 8+ years. This is truly a spectacular wine, hombres.

2005 PARAS VINEYARDS, Merlot, Estate Grown, Mt. Veeder, Napa-$29.00
Here’s another big surprise that’ll completely satisfy your secret desires and won’t lead your wife or significant other to batter your car with a three iron and cost you millions in “shut the f___ up” money. That’s right, it’s a Merlot, but make no mistake, when you pour this for your mistress or mister-ess they’ll be givin’ you freebies for as long as your stash of this wine holds up. This hard driving red wine is made by Douglas Danielak, a rising star in the Napa Valley, who has squeezed the essence out of these rugged mountain grapes, producing a dense and extracted blackish-purple libation revealing gobs of wild blackberry jam, melted dark chocolate, espresso powder, unlit cigar, licorice and the hallmark Mt. Veeder mint and mineral characteristic found in many of the great reds of this appellation. Not your typical nineteenth hole Merlot, this wine comes with the sexy fury of a pissed off Swedish supermodel. You might screw around with some other wines on the side, but when this is gone, it’ll be the one you always remember. Get some now.

2006 DOMAINE DROUHIN, “Laurène”, Pinot Noir, Estate, Willamette Valley, Oregon-$65.00
Without a doubt, Domaine Drouhin’s Laurène is one of the finest and most consistently great Pinot Noirs in the New World, certainly one of the benchmark wines that all other Pinots from Oregon and California are judged. And with good reason: these Frenchies more or less pioneered and gave credibility to the Oregon wine industry. Veronique Drouhin bleeds Pinot, and this majestic wine rivals many of the top wines of her native Bourgogne. Mind numbing in  complexity and length, this Grand Cru of Dundee oozes the combined sex appeal of eight confirmed mistresses and probably will that of reveal many more as time goes by. The scandalous flavors and aromas of crushed cherry and ripe plum, baking spice, black truffle, smoldering ash, toasted brioche, and perfumed, lipstick stained bed sheets make this wine irresistible for all the right reasons. Simply put, this wine is a must have for any Pinotphile, cellar keeper, collector, or lover of great red wine. Hide this away from the missus for 3-5 years and she’ll be way less pissed off about you buying it, or risk it all for love and consume this little beauty tonight over a several hour session.

2005 VOLKER EISELE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Estate, Napa Valley-$35.00
It seems that working in the wine biz in this economy is getting more and more surreal all the time. Like when a winery has a new release, realizes it still has a few boxes left on an older, superior vintage, and decides to discount that one instead of softening the price on the new one. Well, whatever, we’ll take it. Volker Eisele is one of those wineries that has been around forever and has somehow remained a little below many peoples’ radars. They’ve also been farming organically and sustainably since way before it was considered hip to do so. Situated on the northeastern corner of the Napa Valley in the Chiles Valley AVA, these grapes enjoy a long growing season, the vines are meticulously thinned, and the end result is a wine of power, elegance, and balance. The blend is roughly 85% Cab, 10% Merlot, and 5% Franc, with dominant Cabernet flavors of blackberry and currant, Bordeaux-esque notes of cedar, mineral, and spice. It was pretty tightly wound on release but is now drinking fabulously and will easily continue to age for another decade. Originally $42, this is a great deal on one of the great sleepers of the vintage.

2006 SCOTT HARVEY WINES, “Vineyard 1869”, Ancient Vine Zinfandel, Amador County-$30.00
Who could resist the opportunity to sell a wine made from America’s oldest documented Zin Vineyard. These vines were 137 years old (!) at time of the 2006 harvest, the wine was aged in neutral oak and gently “teabagged” by the winemaker, (hopefully oak, not scrote) and as the tech sheet reads, is highly expressive of Amador County “Terror”. ? What we think that means is that this is a ballsy old vine Zin that will scare the buhjesus out of you when you get a hit of this briary raspberry, tobacco, leather and spice laden plush and full bodied Zinfandel. Man up, if you dare. Muuaah!

SOME MORE RED CHEER FOR THE NEW YEAR

2006 BARREL 27, “Head Honcho”, Syrah, Santa Barbara County-$25.00
This is the hottest deal we’ve come across since the Charbay Cab that you bought so many cases of last year.  We’re not mentioning any names, but we tasted this next to a wannabe cult Syrah that comes in at $75 and this just frickin’ buried it. Barrel 27 is a clearing house for the extra barrels from McPrice Myers and Herman Story wineries, whose Syrahs regularly score in the low to mid 90s by all the major critics, and contains fruit from some of the most notable vineyards in Santa Barbara (Laetitia, Larner, and Three Creek, to name a few). These guys could justifiably be charging $50+ for a wine of this quality, but they’re just not that type. This is a massive red that oozes such flavors as boysenberry and blackberry fruit, sour cherry, burnt orange, caramel, lavender, cracked Szechwan peppercorns, cured black olives, duck fat, and dried thyme just to name a few, with ripe mouth coating tannins and a mean dose of whoop ass on the finish. The complexities of Barrel 27 are so varied that even when you’re on bottle 27 you’ll be finding new things to love about this wine. Don’t screw up by saying you only like Cab or I’m broke or some dumb shit like that.  You need this!!

2004 SPELLETICH CELARS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$25.00
Here’s our next $25 dream, a follow up to the $25 Charbay. This ageworthy Cab used to be almost twice the price and we can now offer it to you for almost half price. That’s like getting two hookers for the price of one. I wonder if PGA prostitutes refer to their clients as “slicers”, “hookers”, or “worm burners” depending on the curve of their driver. The ’97 offering of this wine was the Connoisseur’s Guide #1 pick for best Cab of the vintage and mine are still very alive and well. 2004 was a great vintage and this, being 5 years off the vine is drinking perfectly with plenty of life left in it. You’ll dig the full body, solid tannin, and classic Cab flavors of black cherry, spice, earth, black plum, cassis, and Marion berry, all tied together with noninvasive neutral oak. $25 seems to be the new sweet spot these days instead of $50. As your caddy, we recommend hitting this one hard and straight and aim for your cake hole. And don’t screw it up.

REALLY TASTY WHITES

2008 ST. INNOCENT, Pinot Blanc, Freedom Hill Vineyard, Willamette Valley-$20.00
Mark Vlossak is one of Oregons premier super studs, and, unlike those in other fields, like golf or politics, he makes no attempt to hide it. If you eat lots of fish or kiss a lot of pretty girls you’re gonna need some of this crisp and clean yet surprisingly richly textured Alsace varietal white to freshen up with. Peach, spiced pear, tropical fruit, white flower, and candied ginger are the flavors Mark says you’ll experience when you taste it, and I’d add to that the braided zests of lemon and tangerine, a hint of honey dew, and a chip of slate. This is the perfect pairing for shellfish of all sorts, salmon  tartar, sushi, tossed salads, and pickled herrings, like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan, if you’re into that sort of thing. Despite the (usual) crassness of this review, you’d be really blowing it if you miss this gorgeous and well priced wine.

2008 PELERIN, “Les Tournesols”, Roussanne Blend, Paraiso Vineyard, Santa Lucia Highlands-$24.00
Yet another great wine from one of our favorite micro-producers, “Les Tournesols” (which means the sunflowers) is a blend of 72% Roussanne, blended with 19% Viognier for heightened aromatics and 9% Chard for additional roundness and weight, all sourced from a single block of vines in Monterey. Roussanne, as you probably know, is one of the noble white varietals of the northern Rhone, and, along with Riesling and a very few top notch Chardonnays, produces some of the few truly age worthy white wines in the world. Fresh and baked pommes (apple-asian pear) and dried apricot flavors play the main stage while notes of marzipan, chamomile, jasmine, honeycomb, kaffir lime leaf and the slighted suggestion of sweet French vanilla oak dance around the palate like sprites and fairies on ecstasy at a Chystal Method concert. The intensity of fruit and bracing acidity makes this a great pairing with foods of all sorts, from fish to white meats and strongly flavored Mediterranean dishes, and should allow this to develop in the bottle for another 6-10 years.

2007 WHITE ROCK, Chardonnay, Napa Valley-$27.00
In addition to being a top notch Chardonnay, this wine offers you an excellent chance to find out if your family members, friends, or neighbors need an intervention. Just call them up and ask them if they want to come share some White Rock with you. If they show up with a mirror and straw or a glass pipe, there’s a problem. “So that’s why Uncle Jimmy seemed so fidgety and wouldn’t eat the Christmas ham this year…”  If your people do right and bring glasses, they and you are in for a treat. This is definitely the best Chard I’ve tasted from this producer and among the finest examples we’ve seen from Napa in a long time. The small 2007 harvest was vinified sans malolactic fermentaition and saw a minimum of new oak during élevage. The wine shows incredible purity and depth with precisely defined varietal character and nuances of lemon curd, tarte tatin, honeysuckle, and wet stone. Easily chuggable now, this is another rare white wine that will stand the test of time.  Pick up a case and throw a few in the dungeon for 4-8 years.

DEAR GROEZINGER CUSTOMER,
Recent reports from Alaska and Russia show that children are misbehaving and exhibiting disobedient behavior now more than ever before. Harpoons in school, icicle stabbings, and seal rapes are now commonplace according to the northern media. Our very own Justin Rush, never trusting or believing mainstream media, took on this dangerous undercover investigation in conjunction with NBC’s Brian Williams and discovered some disturbing news about the legendary Mr. Santa Claus. Alaskan, Russian, and now Canadian phone taps have confirmed that reports have been coming directly from the North Pole about children being out-of-control-naughty and how most are undeserving of any holiday gift. After hearing this Justin traveled north with his elf suit, elf shoes, and prosthetic elf ears, daringly going undercover with the help of his third cousin, elf toy engineer, Kalu Kalu. Once inside the famous estate Justin found Santa to be disgruntled, unhappy, and abusive to the elves and Mrs. Claus. She was very thin, fidgety, and kept sniffling. Seeing an open door, or an open nostril in this case, Justin elfingly befriended Mrs. Clause with pure Peruvian cocaine and she spilled her guts about how the economy has made it impossible to produce enough toys and has caused massive elf-firings, which has brought drugs, crime, and the first elfin-porn studio to the Pole. She said the marriage took a big hit after Santa’s affair with Kirstie Alley and his short lived stint with ZZ Top. She says they attend marital counseling but both of them have a hard time taking the elf psychologist seriously. She said Santa made false accusations about the children to avoid ridicule for the massive shortage and poor quality of this year’s toys. Santa’s drinking has reached an all time high and it’s suspected he will check back into the Dry Ice Rehab Center after the holiday season. Mrs. Claus said she’s tired of hearing jokes from the elves about her leading the sleigh team this with her red nose and may join Santa in rehab. After doing 2 eight balls with Justin, Mrs. Claus broke down and expressed her true concern for everyone’s holiday happiness. Sniffling and in tears she asked, “Does Groezinger’s still have that phenomenal 3 case shipping deal?” You bet your bindle we do. $75 ships three cases anywhere in the continental United States!! That’s a mere $25 a box when you ship three of ‘em. $15 per case ships wine to our good neighbors in California, Oregon, and Washington. WE SHIP ANYWHERE-except Utah.  $30-$45 ships one case via UPS to most states and if you live in one of the few states still suffering from Prohibition era restrictions, we’ll bootleg it to you for $60 on one case, $90 for two, and only $75 for three!!! These prices make it CHEAP and EASY to get great wine where ever you may be.

Since Santa has crap toys this year, you better HO-HO-HO over to the PHO-HO-HONE and call 800-356-3970

1)  2005 CHARBAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$25.00 This is last call on this ridiculously great deal on a killer Stags Leap Cabernet that used to be $75. $975 lands you three cases that would have been $2700 in a pre-recession world. When you want serious Cabernet but seriously don’t want to pay for it, call us and hook yourself up.
2)  2006 DUNN, Napa Valley, Cabernet Sauvignon–$63.00 A Napa classic with a good dose of Howell Mtn. fruit.
3)  1992, 1993, 1994, & 1995 DUNN, Petit Sirah, Park Muscatine Vineyard, Howell Mtn., Napa Valley-$100 btl.
Living legends. These wines kick the crap out of most of our Cabs and still have another 10-15 years of life. Another last call on these almost mature, old vine, mountain grown Petit Sirahs. $360 for any four bottles. Extremely rare.
4)  2006 PHILIP TOGNI, TANBARK HILL, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, Spring Mtn., Napa Valley-$37.00
By far the best Spring Mtn. Cab for the money. Down from $54. Drink it now or age it for 10 years. Don’t miss it.
5)  2008 OWEN ROE, “Abbot’s Table”, Red Table Wine, Washington-$22.00 This awesome kitchen-sink blend
of eight red varietals tastes like $45 and makes most $25 dollar reds taste like garbage. Pairs well with everything!!
6)  2007 SNOWDEN, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, “The Ranch”, Napa Valley–$40.00 92-94 points from Parker
7)  2005 ILSLEY, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, Stags Leap District, Napa Valley–$50.00 Since nobody wanted the Shafer Hillside Cab for $225 we are offering a $50 version from the vineyard on the other side of that hill.
8)  2005 WATERMARK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$40.00 Diamond Creek’s winemaker’s dirty secret.
9)  2007 COHO, “Headwaters Red”, Napa Valley Red Wine-$38.00 61%Cab, 34%Merlot, 5%Petit Verdot…This is the follow up to the stellar ’06 that got 95 points from Spectator and was compared to $300 cult wines. Coho-ho-ho!
10)  2007 COHO, Pinot Noir, Stanley Ranch, Carneros–$41.00 As good as it gets from Carneros and not 90 bucks.
11)  2006 LEMELSON, Pinot Noir, Thea’s Selection, Willamette Valley-$26.00 Formerly a great deal at $45, new pricing makes this a no-brainer. Practically a giveaway at $26, even people without brains can figure this one out.
12)  N.V. BRICELAND, Brut, Methode Champanoise, Humboldt County-$28.00 With southbound 101 being a grass gauntlet every autumn, this unattainable wine was truly smuggled down the great green pipeline, just for you.

FEATURED RED WINES

We want to sell everything before the end of the year, so call us for some smokin’ hot inventory reduction deals!!

2007 DIAMOND CREEK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Red Rock Terrace, Gravelly Meadow, Volcanic Hill Vineyards
Diamond Mountain, Napa-$165.00 each, or $465 per three-pack (one each of the above listed single vineyards)
Here’s the latest and greatest release from one of the Napa Valley’s most prolific and historic Cabernet producers. As you probably already know, Diamond Creek’s founder, the late Al Bronstein, was among the first to bring smuggled suit case clones from a First Growth Bordeaux vineyard in Paulliac and give them a loving home on the hillsides of Napa. Always big, dark, extracted, elegant, yet old fashioned in structure, the wines show massive cassis and black cherry jam, with nuances ranging from crushed stone, smoldering cedar, mountain under-brush, and dried lavender, with incredible purity and length on the finish. The 2007’s are the best this house has produced in years, and winemaker Phil Steinschriber is adept at accentuating the unique characteristics of these three vineyard blocks, creating wines of a consistent style while preserving the distinct terroir of each site. As always, these wines will age well for twenty plus years. Want to give the ultimate gift this year? Go for the DIAMOND CREEK MAGNUM 3-PACK-$1250.00

2007 SNOWDEN, Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$72.00 (86% Cab Sauvignon/14% Cab Franc) The 2007 vintage is shaping up to be one of the best overall vintages for Napa Cab in over a decade. Here’s a case in point. Diana Snowden and David Ramey are the team behind this stunning Cabernet, without a doubt the best wine the Snowdens have ever produced. The points and praises critics have lauded this wine with are not gratuitous, so you can take kicking Parker and Tanzer’s asses off your holiday to-do list. Layer after layer of deep black currant, smoked plum, and ripe cherry come at you like a pissed off polar bear, while nuances of bittersweet chocolate, coffee bean, pencil shaving, and baking spice back him up like a pack of arctic foxes enjoying the spectacle of you getting torn a new one. Coincidentally, this is Santa Claus’ favorite wine of the vintage (97+ pts SC) because it tastes so good and it also happens to have the same name as the North Pole’s first Elf strip club, the Snow-Den. Built like a California Bordeaux, this beauty drinks great now but promises to age well for at least 15-20 more years. Only 700 cases made.

2005 SAGE, “Veedercrest”, (40% Cab Sauv/30% Merlot/30% Franc), Mt. Veeder, Napa Valley-$30.00 Here’s the best bang for your buck since the Charbay Cab!! No shit, people. Robbie Meyer, of Peter Michael, L’Angevin, and Peirson-Meyer fame (among many others), has crafted the one of the best red blends we’ve tasted all year, and you need to buy a case or two. We poured a glass, a glass mind you, and let it sit for two days and this sucker didn’t budge. No oxidization, no funk, no bullshit. That’s a well made wine, friends. It is our understanding that Sage Vineyards was sold to Darioush winery a little while back, so a good portion of this fruit will soon be available in a much heftier bottle with a much heftier price tag. Until that happens, we’ll simply have to question both your intelligence and your palate if you don’t stock up on this stuff now. Loads of forward Cabernet flavors are made supple by the addition of Merlot and spiced up by Cab Franc, making this a blackberry and raspberry-jam infused fruit bomb with Mt. Veeder structure, a whiff of campfire, unlit cigar, Asian spices, crushed rose petal, and dried cherry. It’s so good, we could drink it all day. In fact, we have, and so should you. But you’ll have to call us first. 1 800 356-3970.

2007 FORT ROSS, Pinot Noir, Estate, Sonoma Coast-$33.00 This one is a mindblower. If you’ve been on our mailing list for a while, you already know that we love wines from this estate, but here we can tell you without that creepy “oh shit we’re telling a lie” feeling that this is without a doubt the best wine that we’ve ever tasted from Fort Ross. Yeah, you could spend an extra thirty bucks on a bottle of Flowers that doesn’t taste as good or spend hours going over the most recent issue of BurgHound trying to find a Chambolle-Musigny that costs less than $120 or you could just call us and pick up some of this juice. This stuff tastes like the best black and boysenberry essence you’ve ever experienced, with burnt orange peel, sliced porcini mushroom, star anise, and crème de menthe thrown in for extra sex appeal. Perfect for stuffin’ in stockings. Speaking of little stockings, the new elf porn studio, “The Pole”, received loads of recognition and success with “Melfs”, “Melfs II”, & “Melf Hunter”.

2006 STORYBOOK MOUNTAIN VINEYARDS, Reserve Zinfandel, Estate, Napa Valley-$50.00 Zinfandel’s Daddy in the Napa Valley, former Chief of Toy Production turned Master Winemaker Jerry “Doc” Seps used elfin’ majik to create this unbelievable wine. Always one of our top picks in any vintage, the 2006 mercilessly beats the hell out of every other Zin from the valley in this vintage. This varietal’s popularity has waned a bit in recent years, but this one will make you want to get up and scream until someone calls the cops on you. Loads of crushed raspberry and currant, black cherry, spring flowers, and a hint of the estates iron laden crushed red rock contribute to a wine that shows the very essence of Zinfandel. Powerful yet elegant, this wine will outlive many Cabs from the valley but also drinks great now. It’ll pair well with turkey, ham, goose, lamb, game, or any other holiday feast.

MORE GOOD REASONS TO DRINK WINE
Don’t miss the end of year end of bin blow out!! Just give us a budget! Help us out and we’ll hook you up!! Thanks, R&J

2006 O’SHAUGHNESSEY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley-$75.00 This is the kind of wine that’ll make you feel like a king when you own a case. On the other hand, if you can’t even afford a half case, it’ll make you feel like a broke-alcoholic-looser-I-feel-like-I-lost-all-my-dough-in-Vegas-no-lap-dance-dribblehead-douchebag. I know the feeling. That’s what credit cards are for…..to put off looserdom until a later date. Like thirty days later according to Doris at American Express. So if you’ve got that down-and-out-I-can’t-buy-more-wine-feeling, get your credit card and say, “Fuck it, I need some O’Shaughnessy no matter what.” Don’t let economics get in the way of your true passions. And if you want to look at it from a religious perspective, money is the root of all evil and Jesus turned water into wine*. As spiritual consultants we advise that you purge yourself of that evil money and get some of this old time religion into your sinful soul. Over the last few years, O’Shaughnessy has gained the reputation as king of the hill, or mountain in this case. Luscious and concentrated, focused and balanced, this wine over delivers in every way possible. Flavors of dark, ripe, black cherry, volcanic loam, blackberry, sweet French oak, and high grade black tobacco are supported by a complex and perfectly integrated structure of fruit covered acidity, super-fine-grit tannins, and unnoticeable alcohol. Like if Moses came down from the mountain with a stack of late ’70’s Penthouse and a Nebuchadnezzar of B.C. wine made by the Big Guy Himself, this wine can do no wrong and is ready to party now and for years to come. If you’re not a follower or believer of O’Shaughnessy, their 2006 will convert you.

1998 CORNERSTONE, Cabernet Sauvignon, HOWELL MOUNTAIN, Napa Valley–$17.00 If you tried the 1998 Cornerstone NAPA Cabernet last month and thought it was a bit knackered, you might want to give this one a whack at your cow. And….if you thoroughly enjoyed the Cornerstone NAPA Cab then you are GONNA FREAKIN’ LOVE the 98 HOWELL MOUNTAIN Cab. If you like old Cab and weren’t cellaring wine when you were in college or on Dead tour, this is your opportunity to enjoy aged mountain Cab without paying $60 nine years ago.

2007 KNIGHTS BRIDGE, Cabernet Sauvignon, To Kalon, Oakville, Napa Valley-$110.00    150 cases produced When I think about this winery the first thing that comes to mind is, “NONE SHALL PASS!” and “THEN YOU SHALL DIE!” Black, green, or horseless, you should really get some of this in your grail before the swine plague hits. Seriously though, this high dollar winery is bound to wind up with big points from Parker and the rest of ‘em real soon.

This is our favorite To Kalon Cab ever. One of the reasons we love it is because it’s not $250 or $150 like most To- Kalon Cabs. It almost always causes premature olfactory orgasm so I wear a dental dam or use a piece of Saran wrap to make it last longer. Dark purple in color, this wine gushes with blackberry, black currant, huckleberry, clove, sweet French oak, and a whiff of violet. It’ll age for eight more years, but who wants to risk dying of the black swine plague before your Cab reaches full maturity? Even if your arms and legs have been lopped off you should roll over to the phone and call us. This magical wine offers eternal youth, and miraculously heals even the most severe flesh wounds.

2007 KNIGHTS BRIDGE, Chardonnay, West Block, Knights Valley–$65.00     125 cases produced
This extraordinary Chard is comparable to the best Chardonnays from California being most reminiscent of its famous neighbor, Peter Michael Winery. Expressive of supreme terroir and the great ‘07 vintage, with 16 year old vines and superb winemaking, Knights Bridge poses an eminent death to almost every other Chard from California. Winemaker Jeff Ames is threatened with death by beheading if he screws anything up, so you know it’s gonna be fit for a king with flavors of Fuji pears, ambrosia melon, white jasmine, virgins, and sweet cream butter. Jeff thinks it’ll age for nine years but I’m drinking mine now. This massive Chardonnay is made in a style we don’t usually go for, but it’s so undeniably wonderful and complex we couldn’t keep our pants on. That’s how you can tell when it’s really, really great. Really.

2007 ZIND-HUMBRECHT, Gewurztraminer, Alsace, France-$26.00
Gewurztraminer is a classic accompaniment to the Thanksgiving feast. Why would you drink French wine on an American holiday? Because they sold us a million pounds of gunpowder during the Revolution, and what could be more American than gunpowder? Maybe depleted uranium. Another reason: this wine is way better than any Gewurztraminer from America. Yet another reason: you don’t pair wine with turkey (a bland white meat), you pair it with the all the other stuff like stuffin’, gravy, cranberries, smoked fish, honey baked ham, fried turkey skin, Jell-o dishes, and that big, pink, sloppy thing your aunt always scares everyone with. I was referring to her marshmallow-Jell-o-dessert.

2003 TOPAZ, California Dessert Wine-$35.00  (66% Napa Sauvignon Blanc, 34% Lake County Semillon)
We don’t mean to shove this down your throat, but we’re gonna do it anyway. What else is versatile enough to pair with foie gras and pumpkin pie? What kicks the crap out of Dolce, Nightengale, and every other lame dessert wine from California? What tastes like real expensive Sauterne? The answer is TOPAZ. You’ll ruin the holidays without this to finish your awesome meals. Thanksgiving and Christmas just wouldn’t be as much fun without Topaz. It’s the best dessert wine west of the English Channel. Once you’ve had Topaz for the holidays, there not the same without it.

CHARDONNAY
ADASTRA                                      2005        35.00
ENKIDU Tin Cross                      2008          23.00
KEENAN                                        2007           28.00
LIOCO                                            2007        21.00
MCKENZIE MUELLER              2006        28.00
MINER Wild Yeast                      2007          50.00
PAUL HOBBS RRV                     2007        50.00
PEAY SON COAST                      2007        55.00
PFENDLER                                  2007          38.00
PORTER BASS                            2007        30.00
RAMEY RRV                               2006        40.00
ROMBAUER                               2008        35.00
SHAFER RED SHLDR CHARD                2007        50.00
WHITE ROCK                             2006        30.00

CABERNET SAUVIGNON & BLENDS
BARLOW BARROUGE             2005          40.00
BENNETT LANE                       2005        55.00
CHAPPELLET Signature         2007          44.00
CLOUD VIEW                            2005          65.00
CLOS VALMI                              2005        33.00
DAVID ARTHUR                       2006        100.00
DETERT Cab. Franc                  2005        60.00
DIAMOND TERRACE               2004        60.00
DOMAINE CHARBAY              2005        28.00
DUNN HOWELL MTN             2005          75.00
ETUDE GBR CAB                      2006          50.00
GRGICH HILLS                         2004        60.00
HIDDEN RIDGE                       2006          40.00
IGNEUOS                                   2005        95.00
ILSLEY stags leap district        2005        55.00
KELLY FLEMING                     2005        85.00
MACAULEY                                2004        72.00
MEANDER                                 2005         65.00
MOUNT EDEN VIN EST         2005        48.00
OAKVILLE RANCH                 2005        58.00
OWEN ROE Ironbird              2006        22.00
ONE ACRE                                2006         40.00
PALAZZO RED WINE            2006        50.00
PARADIGM                               2005        65.00
PARALLEL                                2006        60.00
PETER FRANUS                      2005        48.00

PETIT VICE                               2006        50.00
PHILIP TOGNI                         2006          90.00
PRIDE                                         2006          70. 00
PRIDE Reserve                         2006          130.00
RAMEY claret                            2005          30.00
REDMON                                   2006          45.00
RISTOW PEDRAS                    2006         65.00
ROBERT CRAIG Mt. George   2006        26.00
ROBINSON FAMILY                2005        55.00
ROY J MAIER                            2005          55.00

DEAR GROEZINGER CUSTOMER,
Trick, or Treat? That is the question. Here at Groezinger’s we’ve been turning tricks all year so we can continue to offer you the treat of booze delivered to your home or office. Halloween is the time of year when we revel in all things macabre, like ghosts, mummies, monsters and masked boogie-men. And this year one ghoulish entity incorporates all these: the floating spectral image that was Michael Jackson. As a child I remember being horrified by the being that wore only one glove, sang a song called “Beat It”, owned his own petting zoo containing llamas, sheep, and snakes, wouldn’t do Brooke Shields, and spent most of his time hanging out with kids. Not to mention the guy could apparently defy gravity, had a face that looked like a skull, and dangled babies from balconies. That’s why this year the Halloween costume was an obvious choice. I’m even getting one of my friend’s kids to go as Macauley Culkin. Here’s a free piece of advice, never practice your moon-walk on a shag carpet, especially if you own pets or anything metal. If you’re not scared of the paparazzi or Michael Jackson, then sit alone in Neverland’s pumpkin patch all night long and ask yourself this question . . . Does Groezinger’s really still have that phenomenal 3 case shipping deal? You bet your great pumpkin we do!! $70 ships three cases anywhere in the continental United States!! That’s a mere $23.33 a box when you ship three of ‘em. $15 per case ships wine to our good neighbors in California, Oregon, and Washington. WE SHIP ANYWHERE-except Utah.  $30-$45 ships one case via UPS to most states and if you live in one of the few states still suffering from Prohibition era restrictions, we’ll bootleg it to you for $60 on one case, $90 for two, and only $70 for three!!! These prices make it CHEAP and EASY to get great wine where ever you may be. Moon-walk over to your phone and dial 800-356-3970.
WE GOT ALL THE TREATS YOU NEED FOR YOU AND YOUR FAVORITE TRICK!! CALL US NOW!!

FEATURED RED WINES
1.) 2005 SHAFER, Hillside Select, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District, Napa Valley-$225.00
2.) 2006 SPOTTSWOODE, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, St. Helena, Napa Valley, 25th Anniversary-$120.00
3.) 2006 PAUL HOBBS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$75.00 A great wine from a legendary winemaker.
4.) 2007 CHAPPELLET, Signature Cabernet Sauvignon, Pritchard Hill, Napa Valley-$40.00 Super scary. This wine always gets scores in the nineties from the critics and last year it sold out in ninety days. Secure yours now.
5.) 2005 VALANCE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$75.00 From just outside the Howell Mountain AVA, this is the newest and best vintage yet from one of our favorite micro-producers. Ripe, structured, and very Howelley.
6.) 2005 DOMAINE CHARBAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$25.00 Our best selling wine ever!! We’ve sold over three hundred cases of this. The supply won’t last forever, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Stock up.
7.) 2005 SAGE, “Veedercrest”, Cab/Merlot/Franc Blend, Mt. Veeder, Napa Valley-$30.00 Formerly $40.00
8.) 2006 JACK QUINN, Cabernet Sauvignon, Agaverose Vineyard, Rutherford, Napa Valley-$75.00 Andy Erickson and Benoit Touquette, winemaking team at Screaming Eagle, tag-teamed in making this dense and powerful yet elegant and highly expressive version of classic Rutherford Cabernet. We don’t get much, so call us now.
9.) 2007 PALOMA, Merlot, Spring Mountain, Napa Valley-$50.00 Here’s the best example of Paloma since their cult-making 2001 vintage and they were nice enough not to quadruple their price like most other wineries would have. Show your appreciation and pick up a case of this spectacular and ground-breaking Spring Mountain Merlot.
10.) 2007 PRIDE MOUNTAIN VINEYARDS, Merlot, Spring Mountain, Napa-$60.00 Another mountain beauty.
11.) 2007 CEP, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast-$26.00 We are not at liberty to disclose the origin of this beautiful and expensive tasting Pinot or Andy Peay will kill us. What we can say is that it’s a sexy, lively, Californigundian Pinot Noir from one of our favorite vineyards that over performs like nobody’s business. Drinking this is like eating black truffle infused smothered ripe strawberries and blackberries off the tight belly of a French super model. Giggidy.
12.) 2007 CEP, Syrah, Sonoma Coast-$22.00 As good as the Cep Pinot, only it’s Syrah. These are both super steals.
13.) 2006 HANZELL, Pinot Noir, Estate, Sonoma-$75.00 Normally $95, a great vintage from a classic winery.
14.) 2006 DEHLINGER, Pinot Noir, Estate, Russian River Valley, Sonoma Valley-$44.00 Yet another classic.
15.) 2007 THREE SAINTS, Pinot Noir, Santa Maria Valley-$23.00 Dierberg’s 2nd label. Tastes like their estate PN
16.) 2005 PETER FRANUS, Mourvedre, Brandlin Ranch, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley-$38.00 Just because you can’t say Mourvedre is no reason to skip one of the best wines of ’05. Just call it Mataro if it’s easier for you.

FEATURED RED WINES

2006 PHILIP TOGNI, TANBARK HILL, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, Spring Mtn. Dist., Napa Valley–$37.00
As the current conditions of our economy fluctuate on a daily basis so do the prices of some of our favorite wines. This month’s wicked deal comes from winemaking legend, Philip Togni. If you’re not scared of huge discounts or world-class Cabernet then this should definitely be in your plastic pumpkin this Halloween. This Spring Mountain Cab is 100% estate grown and comprised of juice that would normally have been in the $90 estate Cab. A few enlightened wineries have changed their pricing to roll with the times while others sit on inventory and wait for an angel. The Togni winery, like great French producers, doesn’t mind fluctuating prices to accommodate the economy. Good job! At thirty seven bucks, this stuff cuts, slashes, and slays the competition. Nearly as awesome as the Togni Cab, the Tanbark Hill exhibits the classis Bordeauxesque characteristics this estate is famous for. Flavors of black cherry, graphite, earthy spice, clove, cassis, sweet tannin, and that trademarked streak of eucalyptus will reeducate you about what Cabernet is really supposed to taste like. It offers flavor, passion, edification, satisfaction and the potential to age fifteen years. I just finished my case of ’97 Tanbark Hill and truly wish I had more. I should have bought 3 cases. Let that be a lesson. Formerly $54.00, a seventeen dollar discount makes this a deal too good to pass up.

2004 MAYACAMAS VINEYARDS, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley–$50.00
WHAT THE @#%$*!  Can you believe this? TWENTY FIVE BUCKS CHEAPER! Wassup?? What’s up is you better get some of this too. From another legendary producer comes this classically styled Cab from a stellar vintage and a great appellation. This muscle Cab fires on all cylinders and promises to run hard for another fifteen years if properly garaged. This is old school Cabernet like when Jacko was more blacko, like when you could participate in sports or music or be in a classroom with fewer than thirty five students and go to skule in a building that’s not falling apart and infested with roaches. These are some of the oldest Cabernet vines in the Napa, as big around as you are and producing phenomenal fruit expressive of this mountain appellation, full of earthy mineral flavors that are simply unattainable from younger vines and inferior terroirs. Be sure to decant and let this thing breathe when you crack it because it takes about an hour for the deep cassis and black cherry concentrate to creep out from under the candy coated shell of sweet mountain tannin and rock flavored acidity. Drink it or cellar it. Just be sure to get some. At this price you can pour Dixie cups of it for the trick-or-treaters or use it as fake blood to accessorize your costume. Normally $75.00

2006 DAVID FULTON, Estate Petit Sirah, St. Helena, Napa Valley–$45.00
Last year we described this wine as a giant fire-breathing mule with glowing red eyes and a giant harness of pig skulls on barbed wire pulling a huge Fulton plow. This year it’s even more ominous. It sprouted giant horns and fangs, replaced its mule shoes with two pairs of Gene Simmon’s boots, and grew Pterodactyl wings. We understand if you’re scared, but there comes a time when we all need to bend over and take it like a man. So if you’re tough enough to take on a beast of this magnitude, we’re here for you and will hold your hand when it gets scary, give you something to bite on when it hurts, and clean up the blood and guts when it’s over. This perfect textbook example of ultra-high-quality Petite Sirah epitomizes the varietal and exploits its full potential making other producer’s wines clearly inferior. Opaque as a mule’s pupil, the dark purple hue is almost black with the first whiff tipping you off that the stampede is a comin’. Flavors of the darkest sort are tied together with impeccable structure and balance. Blackberry, black cherry, black plum, black pepper, and raspberry are supported and amplified by perfectly integrated oak, bruising tannin, and spine tingling acidity. This is one of those wines that only pussies pass up. This wine is the reason why we drink red wine. Try pairing it with food, but you better get your big pans out, scorch fat, and shake your flavor shakers. Don’t be a pussy.

2007 L’ANGEVIN, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley–$41.00
2007 PIERSON MEYER, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Stage Vineyard, Sonoma Coast–$55.00
These two guys used to work at Peter Michael until they decided to show people how to make Pinot Noir. 2007 turned out some of the best Sonoma Pinot in years and these are the cream of the crop. These are stylistically similar wines with the Pierson Meyer representing the reserve offering. The P.M. Pinot is from Swan and Calera clones near Petaluma in a cool and windy vineyard. It blasts flavors of strawberry, boysenberry, orange zest, vanilla, cola, and anise down your cakehole causing a chugging sort of behavior. The L’Angevin is a bit softer with spicy black cherry, sandalwood, rose petal, and black tea. Even the pickiest of connoisseurs will be impressed and amazed at the quality of these Pinots.

2006 PIERSON MEYER, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$77.00
This is the crown jewel of the Pierson Meyer lineup. It is exactly what EVERY Cabernet fanatic really wants. Exactly. The question is, “Do want to pay $77 for sheer perfection or do you want to dick around in the forties and fifties hoping for a miracle or a pricing error at the local liquor barn?”  I can’t answer that for you, but if you want the best damn Cabernet from Pritchard Hill (Versant Vineyard) then this is your $77 answer to Bryants overpriced and underwhelming wallet/ass raper. It makes the Chappellet’s P.H. Cab seem like a good old fashioned mugging. Blackberry concentrate dominates over nuances of spice, mocha, tobacco and coffee bean. It received a 25 day maceration prior to and during fermentation making the color extremely dark. This is Cabernet Nirvana, cellarable for many years and perfect for a mind blowing thrill today. 190

FEATURED NEW RED WINERY
INTRODUCING CHRONICLE WINES IN A ZINFANDEL AND PINOT NOIR BATTLE ROYALE!!
We are very pleased to introduce you to wine visionary Mike Hengehold and his new project, Chronicle Wines. Mike is one of the good guys, sharing our enthusiasm for small production terroir driven wine, in this case focusing on the soil varieties and old vines of Sonoma and Mendocino counties. To this end, he has assembled the vine wrestling tag-team of Ted Lemon (founder of Littorai and Pinot Noir God) and Dan Cederquist (unparalleled old vine Zin Guru of Sonoma County) to craft wines of great character and class. These wines rock and you need to pay attention here . . .
2006 CHRONICLE, Zinfandel, One Hundred Year Old Vines, Russian River Valley, Sonoma-$33.00
Dan “The Crusher” Cederquist was brought into the ring to face off against four and a half tons of bruising and bone crushing gnarly old vine Zin hailing from the 100 year old vines of Gaddis and Gambogi vineyards. Having dealt with these Gambogis many times in the past, he knew what to expect from this fight, first man handling the Zin’s ripe clusters until his hands were blood red then slamming them into small open tank containers. “The Crusher” didn’t only punch down the grapes, he beat them down, diving from the top rope into the fermentation tanks Super-Fly Snuka style, then put them in a vice-like press until the grapes bled their intense blackberry, tobacco, and cocoa powder tinged life’s blood into American oak casks. The bottled essence of victory will survive 10 years of nostalgia.
2006 CHRONICLE, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast-$32.00
Pinot Noir can be a tricky adversary, so Dan “The Crusher” tagged out in the second round to Ted “The Squeeze” Lemon, whose Kung-Fu is legendary in the world of Burgundian-class cage fighting. These grapes came out of top rate vineyards, yet proved no match for Ted’s mad skills. After first verbally taunting the grapes, “The Squeeze” easily beat these grapes into submission Joe Louis style, the resulting nectar reeking of raspberry jam, wild strawberry, baking spice, dried rosehips, sandalwood incense, and cherry pie. The finish on this wine is superb, showing off velvety tannins and flavors that linger for days on end. Cellar this sucker for a few years.
2006 CHRONICLE, Pinot Noir, Cerise Vineyard, Anderson Valley, Mendocino-$45.00
Ted Lemon’s face off with the massive and muscular grapes of this Battling Boontling from Anderson Valley’s Cerise Vineyard required him to delve deep into his training days at his Dijon Dojo. Wild yeast fermentation, Matrix style slow motion fermentation, and the utmost concentration on his technique allowed him to tame this raging bull of a wine, transforming the grapes into the bottled equivalent of total enlightenment. Even Bruce Lee couldn’t have pulled this one off as well. Aromas and flavors of creamy stewed strawberry, blackberry, smoked cherry pits, vanilla bean, espresso, dark chocolate, white peppercorn, mace, and wild mushrooms emanate from the hole Ted punched into the heart of this Pinot. If you want total enlightenment, buy a case of this and drink one bottle a year for the next 12 years.
2006 TIERRA ROJA, Cabernet Sauvignon, Estate Grown, Oakville, Napa Valley-$115.00
Billie Jean was not my lover, but this wine is our baby. We are one of the only retail shops in the world able to offer you this Cult Cab since the beginning of it’s run. For those of you not in the know, this is a vineyard surrounded by the likes of Bacchus, Screaming Eagle, Dalle Valle “Maya”, and Rudd Estate, but this is without a doubt the starchild of the appellation. Because we sell so much of T.R.’s winemaker’s wine, DeSante, and because Justin would eagerly sacrifice the pinky of his right hand to be proprietor Linda Neal’s love slave, we get a hefty allocation of this lofty and luscious Cabernet. The ’06 Tierra Roja shows all of the flavors associated with this world class vineyard, which include but are not limited to crème de cassis, black cherry, mocha, crushed mint flowers, caramel, spice, and everything nice. More medium bodied than this estates previous efforts, this wine will require several more years of bottle age to show its true character. These vines are organic and sustainably farmed, which makes this a no brainer.

FEATURED WHITE WINES
1) 2006 MAYACAMAS, Estate Chardonnay, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley–$25.00 Ultra-bright, minerally, built to last, and $10 cheaper this month. Zero% malo-lactic, neutral oak, great with food and a screaming deal at $25.
2) 2006 TANDEM, Chardonnay, Rithcie Vineyard, Russian River Valley–$28.50  Normally $50 Yet another sweet discount on a killer wine. Citrus, pear, and a hint of oak are ignited by electrifying acidity and Sonoma minerality.
3) 2008 LAIRD, Pinot Grigio, Cold Creek Ranch, Carneros–$17.00 Want something for the masses at Thanksgiving
even the kids will like? This stuff is soft and juicy with a hint of melon and pairs perfect with turkey and in-laws.
4) 2007 PORTER BASS, Estate Chardonnay, Russian River Valley, Sonoma–$28.00 My favorite Chard of the year.
This could fool you for a good white Burgundy, used to be $45, and only 175 cases were produced. Last call.
5) 2003 TOPAZ, Special Select, Late Harvest, California Dessert Wine–$36.00 (66%SB,34%Semillon. 10.2% r.s.)
Simply the best Sauterne this side of Sauterne. Honey, peach, pear, apricot, 100% botrytised goodness for dessert.

Dear Beloved Groezinger Customer,

This is a great country we live in despite our current economic condition. It has beautiful cities with rich culture, lush estates and historic landmarks. One of those great cities is Philadelphia, PA. Philly obviously reminds me of meat, cheese, bell peppers, and onions at 2:15 a.m. It also reminds me of the Liberty Bell, Bartram House, Mount Pleasant, Christ Church, 1st and 2nd Banks of the United States, Independence Hall, John Coltrane, Edgar Allen Poe, Tom Hanks, and Betsy Ross. Now it reminds me of dog fighting. What happened? I thought the obvious move would be to Oakland where paroled and yuppified pit bull owners carry plastic bags around to pick up their killing machine’s poop. I mean, let’s face it, Jamarcus doesn’t know what 2+2 is, and 56 blue, 24 red, 32….must be real confusing. So, congratulations on your new addition, Philadelphia. When asked why he did it he had said, “I knew it was wrong, but it was part of our culture.”  I don’t know if he was referring to NFL culture, American culture, Georgian culture, or what. But y’all got culture now. Maybe he just loves animals and truly enjoyed being around dogs. Hey, everyone deserves a second chance……….So, if we threw up on you the last time you were in the store and you haven’t bought wine from us in a while, check out these incredible deals and give us a call…$70 ships three cases anywhere in the continental U.S. of A.  Seriously. That’s $23.33 a case when you buy three. $10 per case shipping in California, Oregon, and Washington. That’s sweet. WE SHIP ANYWHERE except Utah. They’re insane. $30 to $45 ships one case via UPS to most states and if you live in one of the few states that still has prohibition then it’ll cost you about $60 for 1 case, $90 for 2 cases, and only $70 for three cases!! These are pro-bowl shipping prices making it CHEAP and EASY to get great wine.  $70 ships 36 bottles anywhere.  800-356-3970

BE SURE TO LOAD UP HEAVY FOR FOOTBALL SEASON AND THE HO-HO-HOLIDAZE
1.) 2005 SHAFER, Hillside Select, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District, Napa Valley-$250.00
2.) 2006 SPOTTSWOODE, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, St. Helena, Napa Valley, 25th Anniversary–$120.00
2.) 2006 RAMEY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Larkmead Vineyard, Napa Valley–$55.00 This awesome, full bodied, age-worthy Cabernet used to be $82.50 and is now priced to chug. Enjoy the deal and cellar the savings.
3.) 2005 HIDDEN RIDGE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Sonoma County–$37.50 Formerly $75, they did it too. From the Sonoma side of Spring Mountain, this wine really over-performs at $38. Check the press. Made by DiGiulio.
4.) 2006 REDMON FAMILY, Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, St. Helena, Napa–$45.00 Down from $70, this Groezinger favorite is now $25 cheaper ONLY HERE! Micro-produced, dry farmed, French oaked, & delicious.
5.) 2006 BENNET LANE, “MAXIMUS”, Napa Valley, Red Wine–$25.00 –highly rated, priced sweetly
6.) 2006 VALDEZ, Zinfandel, Rockpile Road Vineyard, Rockpile, Sonoma–$35.00 Who knew a pile of rocks could be an appellation? Fresh on the scene, Valdez is kicking ass and taking names. It’s big, focused and bright.
7.) 2006 CHARTER OAK, Zinfandel, Monte Rosso Vineyard, Sonoma–$34.00 These 100 year old vines pump out giant, juicy, complex flavors not found in “common” Zins. It’s almost gone so call us real soon.
8.) 2006 HAMACHER, Pinot Noir, Willamette Valley, Oregon–$41.00 –a great vintage, an incredible price.
9.) 2007 FAILLA, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$33.00 Erin Jordan from Turley also makes this killer Pinot.
10.) 2007 BENOVIA, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$45.00 –exquisite coastal Pinot with power and finesse
11.) 2007 BLUE FARM, Pinot Noir, Anna Katherine Vineyard, Carneros–$44.00 From the Donum-Stemmler ladies comes this complex, layered, sophisticated, and not-so-Carnerosey, Russain River-esque Pinot.
12.) 2007 TALLEY, Estate Pinot Noir, Rincon Vineyard, Arroyo Grande–$53.00            Reserve Tally’s….
13.) 2007 TALLEY, Estate Pinot Noir, Rosemary’s Vineyard, Arroyo Grande–$64.00   These are two of the best Pinots from California. Usually unavailable, the soured economy has brought these little piggies to market.
Like piggies, these are fat, delicious, and kind of smell like bacon, they can bite back, and it’s fun to have twelve.
14.) 2005 PHILIP STALEY, Grenache, Russian River Valley-$22.00-for when you just can’t take another Cab

FEATURED RED WINES

1998 CORNERSTONE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$15.00                            Seriously. $15.00
These days it’s hard to make an honest buck. People want the same high quality wines but aren’t willing to let go of the dough. I have to discount wines and shipping prices just to get a few orders. After several months my frustration built to the point where I had to do something about it. So I bought this ‘79 pickup truck that looks just like the Simon and Simon Power Wagon with the huge bumper on it and drove it through the door of a warehouse in Vallejo and loaded it up with as much of this as I could. I made off with 150 cases of this beautiful and mature Cab without getting busted, and while I thought it was Colgin, I later found it to be Cornerstone. It was dark in the warehouse and we were pretty jacked up on meth and in a big hurry. Wrong pile. After I got the stash back to our secret abandoned winery cave and tasted the wine I was relieved to find that our efforts and meth were not wasted. While disappointed that we couldn’t sell you Colgin for $100, I am elated to be able to sell you this delicious and mature Cabernet for next to nothing. If you prefer drinking old wine more than young wine but can’t stand old wine prices and weren’t collecting wine ten years ago then you need a few boxes of this stuff. If you look on wine searcher you’ll find this wine available for $69 because they didn’t have a Simon & Simon Power Wagon. In your face Bounty Hunter! Try and rob a warehouse on your little pony. You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with this picture?” Other than purchasing stolen alcohol that happens to be a federally controlled substance and having it transported across state lines, sometimes into states we’re not supposed to ship to anyway, tax free, in environmentally unfriendly styrofoam………….other than that, nothing is wrong with this picture. I know every time I commit a crime I get a warm, tingly buzz. That feeling is your body purging guilt from your system. This country was founded and built on stealing and disregard for the law, so flex your heritage. This awesome wine is perfect for chugging with steaks or almost anything off the grill. The juice is still very alive and well, although I would recommend drinking it rather than cellaring it for five years. It’s barely showing rust around the rim with cedar infused fruit dominating the front of the palate. I describe it as “a delicious old Cab that’s great to drink lots of”. Poached cherry, briary tobacco box, dried rose petal, and cinnamon compliment the cedary red fruit. Folks have been hauling cases out of the store upon tasting the wine and for only $180 a case you should get some hauled home to you… Like a real hot milf, this stuff is mature and ready to party and has tricks younger wines just don’t know about. And you can stick it anywhere you please. In your cellar, in the kitchen, a couple bottles in the office, in your golf bag, maybe even in your wife’s special little place where she keeps her wines. This is kick ass wine that I stole and risked everything FOR YOU. Don’t miss out on this unbeatable and rickdickulous deal.

2005 DOMAINE CHARBAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$25.00
We still have some of this incredible wine if y’all want some more now that you’ve tasted it. From Stag’s Leap District and formerly $75 this is one of the best deals ever on a Cabernet, especially from this appellation.

2006 LAIL, J. Daniel Cuvee, Napa Valley–$115.00
Maybe you could care less about how expensive wine is and you just want the best. Here’s your Bentley, you big pimp. Howell Mountain and Oakville grapes make up this wine and the one word that sums it up is power.  Big, full bodied, thick, rich, balanced and explosive, UPS won’t even haul this stuff because it’s THE BOMB. It’s 100% pure Cabernet Sauvignon, bottled unfined and unfiltered, made by Philippe Melka, with a miniscule 750 case production. The wine is like a California First Growth, boasting classic Bordeaux flavors of graphite, currant, tar, anise, and black chocolate all followed up with California ripeness and perfectly integrated French oak. This is as French-American as you can get. More so than that one war, almost like partying in New Orleans (without the piss smell), like if the Statue of Liberty shook her ass and held a 500,000 liter bottle of Lail.  The J. Daniel Cuvee has a history of aging great (I’m still waiting on my ‘99’s) and gets huge scores from the wine press. Most wine writers give unrealistic advice when awarding a wine with a lotta points by saying it will age for twenty years when it really won’t go ten. Lail ages so well you could drink it on your deathbed and rest assured that your priest will thoroughly enjoy the remainder of the bottle.

2006 STORYBOOK MOUNTAIN, Estate Zinfandel, Eastern Exposure, Napa Valley–$40.50
Zinfandel prophet, Jerry Seps, has brought the good word down from the mountain, actually a hillside in this case. We’re not talking about slabs of rock inscribed with instructions on how not to screw your neighbor’s wife. We’re talking about the most structured and built Zinfandel available, more ageable than most Napa Cabs and built to go with any food you could throw at it. Flavors of blueberry, wild blackberry, and black plum are lifted and complimented by nuances of spice, violet, and just a touch of oak. Storybook has been preaching the miracle of Zinfandel for over thirty years and has amassed a huge congregation. Get yourself some of this old time religion.

2005 PEDRAS, Ristow Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$54.00
Some of you may remember how awesome the Ristow Cabernets were. This wine is the evolution of that vineyard, now with Jamie Whetstone making the wine. “Pedras” comes from the word “stone” in Portugese. Example: “I got pretty Pedrassed last night.” Seriously though, this is one stony vineyard. After the vineyard was planted in 1988 it wasn’t long before ultra high quality fruit was being harvested and the first vintage (1995) was released in 1998. Ten years later, these vines have matured and pushed deeper into the rocky soil giving the wine darker, earthier, more complex flavors than previous releases. The vineyard is just south of Stag’s Leap District and if you drove the Power Wagon right through the Darioush tasting room and kept going up and over the hill behind the winery, you’d be in the Ristow Vineyard. Stag’s Leap characteristics of rich, velvety fruit are apparent although the color is much darker and the flavors more intimidating than softer wines from the other side of the hill. Ultra-dark in color, the explosive and powerful fruit all but attacks you, then gently and lovingly rapes you, creating an instant case of Stockholm syndrome that will MAKE you WANT to go back down to your little room in the basement. The 2005 Pedras will age fabulously till 2020 considering it has plenty of tannin, color, acidity, and powerful black/purple flavors that taste quite immovable. Get “Pedrassed” with this rocking Cab.

2006 DEMUTH KEMOS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Clajeux Vineyard, Chalk Hill AVA, Sonoma Co.–$55.00
This is ass kicking Cabernet. While most $50-$100 Cabernets from California brag about using only free run juice in their oh-so-drinkable and not-so-ageable wine (boring), Demuth & Kemos crank the guts and soul from these grapes in an old school basket press. It then goes into French oak for 23 months. Because of significant fruit thinning only ten barrels were produced, thus creating a wine with intensity, concentration, and a long, promising future. Clone 337 brings mineral and earth flavors while clone 7 offers up the seductive, forward fruit. This perfect match of Cabernet clones grown in rocky hillside vineyards makes for an unforgettable drinking experience. The grapes were fermented in small T-bins with indigenous wild yeast and punched down by hand. These multiple, smaller fermentations create complexity as each bin will have its own characteristics. The color is dark like the night sky, the flavors reminiscent of Margaux, and the finish could last into the next day if you drink a whole bunch and don’t brush your teeth before bed. If you love soft, round, easy drinking Cabernet then don’t buy this. But….if you like droppin’ the clutch, bad dogs, big guns, and grilled meat, then this is your wine.

FEATURED WHITE WINES

2008 TOMERO, Torrontes, Mendoza, Argentina–$13.50
The Tomero is the guy who regulates the flow of natural irrigation to the vineyards in Argentina. You too, can be a Tomero by regulating the flow of this to your house. Torrontes is related to the Malvasia grape and was probably brought to Argentina by Spanish colonists after it made its way to Madeira from the Mediterranean. It’s bright, crisp, clean, citrusy, with a medium body and a joyful, uplifting finish. Drink with summer foods like grilled figs, fish, salads, fried okra, grilled shrimp, abalone, turkey sandwiches and garden fresh tomatoes. It’s a delightful diversion from common Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay.

2008 DESANTE, “L’Atelier”, Sauvignon Blanc/Semillon, Napa Valley–$26.00
“Hey, you got your Sauvignon Blanc in my Semillon.” “Hey, you got your Semillon in my Sauvignon Blanc.”    ♫ Two great things that go great together! Enjoy the great taste of crisp Sauvignon Blanc rounded out with a touch of Semillon and smoothed out with a kiss of oak. Expressive of Desante’s old vine SB, this delivers more flavor, more charachter, and more complexity than almost any other white wine from Napa.

2007 BENOVIA, Chardonnay, Russian River Valley–$32.00  –gorgeous, cool climate Chard, long finish
2008 FORMAN, Chardonnay, Napa Valley–$39.00  –crisp and bright for Napa chard, Rutherford fruit
2007 MINER FAMILY, “Wild Yeast”, Chardonnay, Napa Valley–$45.00 –big, thick, rich, and buttery
2007 TALLEY VINEYARDS, Chardonnay, “Rosemary’s Vineyard”, Arroyo Grande–$45.00   –one of California’s finest Chards. It’s bold and full bodied with impressive acidity and exotic flavors. Usually available in miniscule quantities, this year you can have as much as you want. Check out their Pinot’s on the front page.
2007 ENKIDU, Chardonnay, Tin Cross Vineyard, Alexander Valley–$26.00  This is a super sweet deal. It possesses the flavor, structure, and classiness of Chards twice the price.  Remember their great Kick Ranch SB?
2008 PIERSON MEYER, Sauvignon Blanc, Napa Valley–$23.00 Mmmmmmm. This is the “reserve” level of Sage Wines. Ultra-lively fruit is mellowed out with stirring of the lees and a dash of oak.

Dear Groezinger Customer #8675309,
Don’t lose that number. 800-356-3970. You’ll be using it soon if you still have some money left because this months deals are so insanely sweet you’d be completely nuts not to call me. We’re talking about prices so low and discounts so heavy it’s almost like drinking for free. There’s only one thing better than free booze….a free piece of……. That reminds me of when I used to install cable t.v. in Omaha’s super-ghetto-hood 21 years ago. Occasionally, prostitutes in the projects would offer me complimentary services (i.e., a freebie) if I would hook up HBO and Cinemax on the down low. It was far from philanthropy, but I always declined their kind and not-so-tempting offers and hooked up the movie channels without collecting the *booty. I would tell them to “enjoy the freebie”. It was my special way of giving back to the community. Eventually the original charm and fun of the ghetto wore thin and I resorted to selling fine wine in 1989.  The most commonly asked question asked by ghetto hookers is….. does Groezinger’s still have that bangin’ shippin’ deal??  Oh, hell yeah they do………..$60 ships three cases anywhere in the continental U.S. of A.  Seriously. That’s $20 a case when you buy three. Free shipping in California, Oregon, and Washington on orders of 12 bottles or more. That’s free. We ship anywhere except Utah. They’re insane. $35 to $50 ships one case via UPS to most states and if you live in one of the few states that still burns witches then it’ll cost you about $60 for 1 case, $90 for 2 cases, and HOLY-ROTTEN-RYE only $60 for three cases!! These are truly wicked shipping prices making it CHEAP and EASY to get great wine.  $60 ships 36 happy endings.  800-356-3970

HERE’S A SHORT LIST FOR YA. DON’T MISS THE BEST DEAL ON CABERNET EVER. Page 2
1.) 2005 WATERMARK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$40.00 A Groezinger favorite. Diamond Creek’s winemaker’s personal stash. Wonder where he gets the fruit?? It’s one of the best wines you could find for forty bucks. Drinkable, ageable, limited, hard to find, and downright delicious.
2.) 2005 CLOUDVIEW, Estate Red, Pritchard Hill, Napa Valley–$59.00 Their best to date. HUGE!
3.) 2007 CEP, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$24.00 A killer deal in the world of Sonoma Coast pinot noir.
4.) 2005 SHOWKET, Asante Sana, Oakville, Napa Valley–$33.00 Down from $50. Estate grown Oakville Sangiovese and Cabernet Sauvignon make this a seriously great wine for a silly little price.
5.) 2006 SAUSAL, Century Vines Zinfandel, Alexander Valley–$32.00 130 year old vines. Truly a national treasure, you won’t find these historic flavors on Antiques Roadshow. Awesome old vine Zin.
6.) 2006 FRANUS, Zinfandel, Brandlin Ranch, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley–$31.50 Mountain grown,
80 year old vines. Beautiful, balanced flavors are perfect for summer barbeques, grilling, and chugging.
7.) 2006 DOMAINE SERENE, Pinot Noir, Yamhill Cuvee, Willamette Valley–$35.00 Sweet price.
8.) 2006 PELERIN, Syrah, Monterey–$23.00 Pelerin means “pilgrim”. Like witch burning pilgrims. This wine is tantalizing, authentically Rhone-like, and able to compliment a broad spectrum of foods.
9.) 2006 EFESTE, CEIDLEIGH Syrah, Red Mountain, Washington–$30.00 Truly bad-ass Syrah.
10.)  2006 MOUNT EDEN VINEYARDS, Estate Chardonnay, Santa Cruz Mountains–$36.00 Absolutely, positively, one of the best Chard’s on this continent & it’s mysteriously $14 cheaper this year.
11.) 2007 SHAFER, Chardonnay, Red Shoulder Ranch, Carneros–$44.00 If you like big, rich, high octane Chardonnay, this is it. “Red Shoulder” refers to the days when sun burnt children worked the vines.

*booty, n. pl.  booties (boo-tee)   definition-1-plunder taken in time of war  2-goods or property seized by force or piracy 3-a valuable prize, slang-the buttocks

FEATURED RED WINES
Don’t miss out on the greatest deal on Cabernet Sauvignon EVER!  DOMAINE CHARBAY.
And don’t forget about FREE SUMMER STORAGE. I’ll keep it cool until you’re cool.

2005 DOMAINE CHARBAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$25.00
This is the greatest deal on super-premium Cabernet Sauvignon I’ve ever seen during my twenty years of selling wine. Most wine drinkers will never be offered an opportunity like this in there entire lifetime and neither will their children or grandchildren. This offer is only available to customers who receive our paper and/or email newsletter because if I put this up for sale online it would piss wineries off even more than Rudd last month. So you’ll have to phone home, ET. This wine is from the coveted Stag’s Leap District and is comparable to or better than Silverado Reserve, Hartwell, and Shafer at a mere fraction of the price. My good buddy, Marco Karakasevic, made this rock star Cab back in 2005 and since then Charbay’s booze business has exploded forcing their attention to vodkas, tequila, whiskey, rum, moonshine, brandy, and anything else you could possibly distill and sell. That left this $75 Cabernet sitting around with no one paying attention to it since they were all ripped on booze. Then the economy took a splattery crap right into the fan and they lowered the price to $50. Rapidly, the demand for their booze skyrocketed as jilted executives and CEOs drowned their sorrows in delicious fruit infused vodkas and rums from Charbay. Soon, more people were out of work and $50 Cabernet started to go out of fashion. That’s when Marco called me and made me a deal only a drooling idiot would pass up. See where I’m going with this? Before anyone gets called names referring to slobbering stupidity, I’ll supply the facts and flavors. 2005 was a VERY good vintage with a cool growing season and a warm fall. The Stag’s Leap District is an AWESOME place to grow Cabernet…..too bad NONE of them are $25. From the first glance, this wine is impressive. The color is incredibly dark and opaque with aromas that match the intimidating color. Whiffs of cherry, cassis, vanilla, and spice will send you back to Drinkonomics 101, reeducating you on what you can get for TWENTY FIVE bucks. On the palate the wine is like liquid happiness, delivering flavors of cassis, cherry, plum, raspberry, blueberry, and tobacco. The finish is polished and lengthy and keeps bringing you back for more until it’s gone. I’ve been drinking it every day for weeks and it doesn’t ever get boring.  It was in French oak for 26 months and has been bottled for almost two years which means it’s drinking perfectly now and will do so for the next six years if you can resist the temptation. Only 1,000 cases were produced and I bought as much as I could because there’s nothing better for the money and probably never will be again. Now that you have the facts, I could not urge you strongly enough to buy as much of this wine as you possibly can. It’s not like I make a ton of money selling you $25 wine, I’m just trying to hook all y’all up. Only $960 will get you three cases DELIVERED anywhere in the continental U.S.  Shipping is FREE in California, Oregon, and Washington which is just rickdickulous. Now, don’t start slobbering in a helpless spasm of enological ignorance, just pick up that phone and CALL ME AT 800-356-3970. You will be so happy you did and feel so smart and probably like me more or like me again and it will make the whole world a better place to be, filled with love, harmony, and balance. What other wine can do that? The answer: none.

2007 GAMBA, OLD VINE ZINFANDEL, Estate Grown, Russian River Valley, Sonoma–$36.00
Yet another spectacular release of our favorite Sonoma Zinfandel. These vines were planted way back in 1900 and are still working hard just like the 90 year old guy who had to go back to work when his retirement money went away. Gus Gamba came up with an economic strategy to keep his juice flowing….
He lowered the price!!! Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. It used to be $45 and is now $43 on their website and our price is 7 bucks better than that. This wine is a textbook example of what R.R.V. old vine Zin should be. Layered and complex, with vibrant raspberry, wild blackberry, blueberry, pomegranate, and a kiss of oak, this will trip your trigger like a Zinfandel booby trap. 2007 was a rocking vintage for Sonoma and the proof is in this pudding. If it was any thicker, it would be Zinfandel pudding.

***Jim Richards of Paloma Vineyards passed away recently after a battle with cancer. He was loved by us and many others and will be missed very much. Raise a glass and toast Jim as he tends to another vineyard somewhere else, not so far away. Thanks for the great Merlot and all the good times, Jim. God Bless Ya.

PEAY VINEYARDS

Peay’s vineyards are located about one hill away from the Pacific Ocean making this one of the coolest growing sites in California. That creates beautiful, structured fruit with wonderful acidity and vibrant flavors that engulf your senses. Cabernet vines would probably die from the cold, but Pinot, Chardonnay, and Syrah flourish in this beautiful coastal vineyard. Vanessa Wong, former winemaker at Peter Michael, crafts these sensuous and seductive wines at their KICK ASS gravity fed winery in Cloverdale (northern Sonoma). These are super-duper-ultra-premium, extremely limited, and very fairly priced wines. Enjoy!

2007 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast–$47.50
This is Peay’s best Chardonnay to date, rivals any Chardonnay from California, and is knocking on Burgundy’s back door. The vibrant fruit is bright like sunshine with concentrated flavors that unwind endlessly on the palate usually causing drinkers to cuss and touch themselves. This spectacular 2007 has too many flavors to list, but here’s a few; pear, lemon curd, granny smith apple pie, coconut, bread dough, jasmine tea, wet stone, fairy dust and all kinds of other magical stuff that doesn’t come in any other wine. There are hardly any Chardonnays of this quality, and those few comparable wines are at least twice the price. This ain’t cheap but it is truly GREAT wine. If you want the best Chardonnay in California, get this. The ‘07 Peay will make most other Chards taste like unfiltered rat piss. I’m not kidding, it’s that good.
2007 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$38.00
Peay’s two flagship Pinot’s, Pomarium and Scallop Shelf, are $55 to $65 bucks. This is an estate cuvee from the same vineyards, with the same purity, intensity, and flavor profile of its pricier siblings. Only 480 cases were produced and with this quality > price ratio, it’s sure to sell out quickly. Cherry dominates the flavor profile by whipping the submissive nuances of sandalwood, forest floor, and chocolate until they behave and let Cherry dominate the finish. The finish is complex and long, and when it finally ends, it starts back up for a second finish. Bonus finish! Hook yourself up. Here’s a few more from Peay…..
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Pomarium, Sonoma Coast–$50.00
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Syrah, Les Titans, Sonoma Coast–$41.00
2006 PEAY VINEYARDS, Estate Syrah, La Bruma, Sonoma Coast–$41.00

VICE VERSA made by PAUL HOBBS

Here’s a new one for you. Paul Hobbs makes these wines and they are killers. So was the price of the Cabernet ($110) until the Groezinger chop shop cut and slashed it in half making it one of the best deals going. This is another special newsletter feature (no internet) because they would cut me off like John Bobbit’s weiner if they saw this rickdickulous pricing. Hook yourself up and I won’t tell anyone.

2005 VICE VERSA, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$240.00
This switch hitter has the best of *bolth worlds. Beckstoffer ToKalon fruit from Oakville and mountain fruit from Stagecoach Vineyards on Atlas Peak make this a turbo-charged-super-pedigree-hybrid Cabernet that would be $110 in all other economic conditions. This is by far the best of their first three vintages giving up flavors of cassis concentrate, bittersweet chocolate, anise, and sweet, perfectly integrated oak.
2005 VICE VERSA, Syrah, Ulises Valdez Vineyard, Russian River Valley–$40.00
The Syrah is an ass whooper. Black-purple in color with great extract and concentration, it possesses a giant mouthfeel with flavors that all but attack you. Classic flavors of black plum, smoked meat, earthy spice, and black licorice bring to mind thoughts of lamb chops, grilled rib eyes, and braised short ribs. It’ll stain your teeth pretty good so we’re gonna throw in some whitening strips if you get more than six.

2007 KELLY FLEMING, Sauvignon Blanc, Napa Valley–$26.00
When I tried this awesome new S.B., I thought, “This stuff is so good I could drink it all day long.” Delicious flavors of citrusy, tropical, melony fruits will keep you entertained and coming back for more.
A hint of French oak rounds out the vibrant fruit and gives this great S.B. an extra touch of class. (ETC)

*bolther, n. pl. bolthers (bowl-thur) definition-a person who pronounces the word “both” with an invisible “L” between the “O” and the “T”

DEAR GROEZINGER CUSTOMER,

Recent reports show that people aren’t having as much fun as they used to. One study showed women no longer flash the cameras on amusement park splash rides. And when’s the last time you saw a guy wearing a trench coat and a paper bag on his head? Yard darts have vanished and people look at you like you’re the devil if you have fireworks in this extra flamey state. Even monster truck rallies have reported smaller audiences. Coppertone has been replaced by sunblock which is nowhere near as much fun as rubbing the slimy, cancer causing oil into the skin of bronze sluts. On the other hand, having a fifty year old wife whose face and tits don’t look like beef jerky is also fun. And summertime water balloons have been traded in for silicone fun bags, which are usually very fun. So there is still hope. That’s what we’re here to deliver. Hope. Not like a fluffy campaign or a Pepsi billboard, this hope is real and delivers NOW. So, I hope you buy some wine. A few wineries have realized that lowering prices might help sales. REALLY?! What we’re doing is discounting the discounts from the wineries making our prices lower than anyone. With free shipping on case orders(12+btls) in California, Oregon, and Washington, and our UNBEATABLE 3 CASES FOR $60 going anywhere shipping special, we challenge you to find a better deal. Until the economic climate changes we will intentionally continue to lose money on freight to provide the absolute best prices to you and your friends. And……..WE SHIP ANYWHERE EXCEPT UTAH!! UPS IS AVAILABLE TO AK, CA, CO, CT, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IA, IL, LA, MI, MO, MN, NC, ND, NE, NH, NV, NY, NM, OH, OR, SC, TX, VA, WA, WV, WI & WY for about $20-$45 a case depending on how far away you are from us. We bootleg it to ALL STATES one way or another. Overnight, 2-Day, and 3-Day services are available to the above states at an additional cost. Call us soon and ship your juice while it’s cool.  $60 for 1 case, $90 for two cases, and $60 for three cases going anywhere. A $10 residential delivery fee is waived on purchases of 3 cases or more. We prefer shipping to businesses because we need an adult signature for delivery and you used to have a job and be at work.  Get yourself some deals. 800-356-3970.

BUY AMERICAN. Foreign countries don’t sell American wine, KEEP THE DOUGH AT HOME!!!!!

1.) 2005 RAMEY, Claret, Napa Valley–$26.00 That’s right. Twenty six bucks. Give me a break. Ridiculous.

2.) 2006 RAMEY, Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast–$26.00 A full case is only $312 delivered in CA, OR & WA.

3.) 2006 RAMEY, Syrah, Rodgers Creek, Sonoma Coast–$38.00 Eighteen bucks below the regular price.

4.) 2006 PALOMA, Merlot, Estate Grown, Spring Mountain, Napa Valley–$48.00 The pride of Spring Mtn.

5.) 2004 WHITE ROCK, Estate Claret, Napa Valley–$32.00 This is an incredible blend with a lifespan of 15+ years and flavors that wines three times the price wish they had. If you’re into GREAT wine and don’t need a big name or a big price tag to impress yourself or your friends then this is a wine that YOU NEED.  Normally $40.00

6.) 2005 SAWYER CELLARS, Estate, Bradford Meritage, Rutherford, Napa Valley–$28.50 WHAT?$?$? This baby used to be $44. Expressive of Rutherford in every way except for the price. Take that Oakville!#%@  And…

7.) 2005 SAWYER CELLARS, Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, Rutherford, Napa Valley–$31.00 Formerly $48.00

8.) 2005 PARADIGM, Estate Bottled, Cabernet Sauvignon, Oakville, Napa Valley–$52.00 Ten dollar discount!

9.) 2005 PARADIGM, Estate Bottled, Merlot, Oakville, Napa Valley–$37.50 Seven bucks off. 800-356-3970

10.) 2006 FORMAN, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$75.00 First 500 callers get 15% off.

11.) 2006 ORIN SWIFT, Mercury Head, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley-$75.00 First 500 callers get 15% off.

12.) 2006 ROBINSON FAMILY, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon, Stags Leap District, Napa Valley–$42.00 What?$

13.) 2006 ROBINSON FAMILY, Estate Merlot, Stags Leap District, Napa Valley–$35.00 Sweet new pricing.

14.) 2006 PARALLEL, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$50.00 Philippe Melka’s wine for fifty bucks?? It’s true. And your kids could be the first ones in your neighborhood with the premiere Chardonnay from Parallel…..

15.) 2007 PARALLEL, Chardonnay, Napa Valley–$30.50 A great summertime geometry lesson for the kids.

16.) 2006 FORT ROSS, Pinot Noir, Sea Slopes, Sonoma Coast–$19.50 This makes a perfect lesson in economics.

17.) 2006 AARON, Petite Sirah, Paso Robles–$26.00 And a good geography question. Where t/f  is Paso Robles?

Don’t be a dunce by skipping out on these super-smart deals our former administration provided for you.

FEATURED WINES

Stimulus package? Stimulate this package!  FREE shipping in CA, OR, & WA on 12+  bottle orders and $60.00 for three cases going anywhere else. Tax-free out of state and insane pricing make these the best deals in the biz.

1996 TAY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$40.00

Very rarely, does a deal like this come along. The release price of this wine was sixty bucks back in 2000. It was made by Bruce Scotland during his years at Cornerstone and due to some kind of inventory error it was buried and overlooked for about ten years while it sat patiently, slowly aging, waiting for someone to find it. Well, as the story goes, someone found it and brought me a bottle. When I tasted the wine, I went to the phone immediately after I changed my freshly soiled pants and bought the whole pile. Where else can you get a perfectly cellared, twelve year old Napa Cabernet that drinks like eighty bucks for the price of a dozen oysters at Bouchon? Nowhere except here. You might remember a wine called “Martin’s Hillside” from 1993. If you liked that kind of a deal, then you’ll love this one. This wine will transport you back to a time when things were easier and money fell from the sky. Like back when SUV’s and the Dave Mathew’s Band were cool, back when you could get laid by saying “my-dot-com-start-up”, and back when a blackberry was just a piece of fruit. Enjoy this perfectly cellared and aged wine for the same price as mediocre grocery store swill. Plus, you don’t have to wait ten years or pay for all that air conditioning. The aromas are mellow, mature and seductive, followed by flavors of poached cherry, olive, rose petal and earthy red fruits. After the wine airs for a few moments the darker flavors emerge and join the party. The palate is smooth, mouth coating, and soothing to the taste buds. This delicious ‘96 delivers instant gratification like a wet dream. Pull the cork and next thing you know, it’s a gooey mess. So don’t forget to have that old rag handy to wipe up the messy load of crusty purple stuff that’s on the end of corks in mature wines.  A wine like this is sure to sell out quickly, and when it’s gone, there’s no going back to the good ole days. Call now for yours. 800-356-3970

2005 KATHRYN KENNEDY, Lateral, Red Wine–$22.00          price reduced from $36

Over the years this wine has earned a reputation of being the best damn deal on a Bordeaux styled blend from California. This year, for some reason, they lowered their price. It used to be thirty six bucks and now it’s twenty six. At Groezinger’s, it’s $22.00. That’s almost half price for this exquisite blend of 50%Merlot, 22%Cab Franc, 22%Cab Sauvignon, and 6%Petit Verdot. Aged for 22 months in 40% new oak, this wine has polish and class usually found in wines thee times the price. Lateral compliments many foods and also drinks well out of big insulated cups if you’re not into Sauvignon Blanc or Chard for the summer months. The blend is from a variety of cool climate vineyards selected specifically for the flavors they contribute to the Lateral blend. This also gives the wine a classy complexity never found in wines this cheap. Medium to full bodied on the palate, Lateral gushes flavors of black cherry, mushroom, tobacco, mint, and huckleberry. It finishes long and strong with great balance and finesse.

2006 CHAPPELLET, Signature Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$37.00       price slashed from $55

Here’s another wine you’d be downright stupid to pass on for this price. This incredible hillside Cabernet comes from the slopes of Pritchard hill, home to wineries like Bryant, David Arthur, Cloudview and many more. Can you think of another Pritchard Hill Cab for under forty bucks? Don’t waste your time. Formerly $55, this is a super sweet deal. The Signature Cab from Chappellet has a long track record of being one of the most ageable Cabs from Napa, even more so than their $135 “reserve” Cabernet that nobody wanted last month for $105. I wouldn’t buy that overpriced bullshit either when you can get wine from the same vineyard, made by the same people for a hundred bucks less. That’s the upside of economic collapse, you can get really good stuff cheap. This wine is firing on all cylinders with vibrant cherry and plum, super-fine well integrated tannins, sweet oak and earthy minerality, a core of dark black fruits, fresh herbs, coffee, and cocoa. Extremely ageable and ridiculously delicious, this underpriced wine over performs in every category. In addition to all this, James Laube gave this wine 94 points. That’s only 39 cents a point. Incredible.

2007 FORTUNATI, Pinot Noir, Sonoma Coast–$22.50

This wine is so good and such a good deal, we say it puts the f–u–n back in fucking unbelievable. F’n great Sonoma Coast fruit. F’n great price. F’n great quality. If you like Pinot Noir and money, then this is the f’n wine for you. That’s because when you buy it you’ll still have some money AND really good Pinot. Now that’s fun. Its round, ripe flavors of cherry, strawberry, cola, clove, and spice will satisfy you like Pinots costing twice the price.  Only 275 cases were produced so don’t wait too f’n long to call and get some of this deliciously inexpensive Pinot Noir.

If you want these wines but don’t want to ship during the summer months, I will store it for you at no charge until it cools off. If you buy a case now, one in July, and one in August, you’ll get the sweet three case shipping price of $60.

2007 STRAIGHT LINE, Syrah, Santa Barbara County–$22.50

Want some killer Syrah for a sweet price? My good buddy John Grant has been honing his winemaking skills at Turley Wine Cellars for the past ten years, escaping the arduous winery duties at any chance to go skiing, hence the name. Whether the straight line refers to how he skis down the mountain or to how he runs from the winery when it snows is yet to be determined. What we do know is that this Syrah is a killer, over-delivering for its modest price point. John said with the cost of fruit, barrels, winemaking and bottling, he ends up making about a buck a bottle when the wholesaler sells it to me. That means he used expensive fruit and barrels and isn’t charging what people who want to make money in this business usually charge for wine. If nothing else, it creates good karma and gives you the chance to enjoy an excellent California Syrah for the price of a shitty bottle of imported Shirass (yuk) or an overrated bottle of French Syralph (poop). Don’t forget to boycott those swilly imports when your country is in the shits and needs you to buy American. They don’t sell California wine in Australia, New Zealand, France or other countries so fuck ‘em. This homeland juice gushes flavors of plum, cherry, grilled meat, spice, lavender and sweet, expensive oak. This is a super-premium micro-sized production made with lots of love, sweat, beer, snow, herbs and vegetables.

2005 VALANCE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$67.00

Valance Cabernet comes from a tiny 3 acre vineyard on lower Howell Mountain bordered by the famous Herb Lamb Vineyard. Thirty year old vines are tended to by Michael Raymor whose winemaking and vine growing experience also spans over thirty years. Only 75 to 90 cases are produced each year making this nearly impossible to find anywhere except here. Valance is aged for 22 months in the barrel and for at least two years in bottle before being released. This wine is built to last to say the least. Some children and a few pussed-out adults might find this wine too full bodied, dark, and intense for their delicate palates. When I spend good money for young Cabernet I want it to kick my ass and remind me not to touch it for five years. Most 2005 Cabs will be on there way out when this one just gets going. In the complex flavor profile you’ll find flavors of red currant, blackberry, cinnamon, cassis, spice, cedar, earth, and vanilla, all tied together seamlessly by French oak, tannin, and rock solid structure. If you think you’ll still like wonderfully aged, ten year old Cabernet in six more years then you should buy some of this now and wait six years. When this economic Ebola has been contained you will be ready to party……….with 10 year old Valance!! Just think….If you’re 40 years old and your wife just left you because you lost your job and you’re spending money on awesome Cabernet, then you’ll really need that awesome, mature Cabernet in a few years when it comes time to attract a hotter, more sophisticated & better lover that appreciates and understands your edified desires and needs.

2006 SOTER, Pinot Noir, Mineral Springs, Willamette Valley, Oregon–$60.00

Sometimes price doesn’t matter, like blueberries at Whole Foods. So what if they’re ten bucks, there going in the pancakes no matter what. Just like this wine should be in your cellar, no matter what. Tony Soter, founder of Etude, has reset the bar for Oregon Pinot Noir by snatching the trophy from the hands of Domaine Serene. This wine oozes with the thickest and most seductive flavors found in Pinot Noir this side of the Pacific and, it’ll age for a long time, maybe fifteen years, if you can wait. The most classic and decadent flavors of rich, round cherry, flinty minerality, strawberry, tobacco, clove, cherry cola, vanilla and pomegranate offer themselves up for you like a sacrificial virgin without the mess and inconvenience of stone temples, blood, guts, tears, flying organs, and crying mothers. Just get it.

FEATURED WHITE WINES FOR SUMMERTIME

2007 RUDD, Sauvignon Blanc, Napa Valley–$21.50 Holy crap! Rudd just figured out that the world doesn’t want a $48 S.B. from Napa. So, the greedy bastards cut their greedy price in half as if to say, “Oops, sorry. Please like us.” At $21.50, it’s easy to love one of the best whites from Napa. Ultra classy, super-duper-premium Sauvignon Blanc.

2007 PORTER BASS, Estate Chardonnay, R.R.V., Sonoma–$27.00 Formerly $42. At $27, it’s a freakin’ steal.

2006 BOHEME, Chardonnay, Taylor Ridge Vineyard, Sonoma Coast–$31.00 Ethereal, bright, & enlightening.

2006 MCKENZIE MUELLER, Chardonnay, Carneros–$25.00 This is Chardonnay with structure and integrity. Most wineries whore out their Chards by dressing them up in oak and dosing them with acid before selling them on the streets. This puritan is bright and clean, untainted by excessive oak, and promises to behave for four more years.

2006 NAPA VALLEY FARMS, Viognier, Napa Valley–$15.00 I drink it just for the super trippy label.

Don’t miss out on the sweet shipping specials, ridiculously low recession pricing, and free summer storage.

I guess the shit has officially hit the fan. I don’t mean to sound gloomy, but it’s getting tighter than a nun on Easter Sunday around here. Justin is now looking for a job. His phone number is 707-738-6123 if anyone wants to hire him. I received about a dozen (12) orders from the last newsletter. That put us in the hole deeper than John Holmes, which has brought me to my last resort. Well, almost. I’m gonna do the thing that pisses wineries off the most. Well, almost. DUMP IT !!! The wines on this front page are all the wines from last month but with the prices slashed. Hopefully this will be enough incentive to get you to call and buy some. And hopefully the wineries will still talk to me. In addition to slashing prices I will ship three cases of wine for $60 during the month of April. Furthermore, shipping in California is FREE on 12 bottle orders for all of April. Needless to say, if there is a wine you want, and a random price you want to pay for it, let me know. The wine business will be changing, I’m just changing first. Other than sending it to you for free, this is the best I can offer. The one thing we hardly ever hear anymore is………………… “Does Groezinger’s really still have that phenomenal 3 case shipping deal?” Holy crap, do they ever!!!! WE SHIP ANYWHERE EXCEPT UTAH!! UPS IS AVAILABLE TO AK, CA, CO, CT, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IA, IL, LA, MI, MO, MN, NC, ND, NE, NH, NV, NY, NM, OH, OR, SC, TX, VA, WA, WV, WI & WY for about $25-$45 a case depending on how far away you are from us. Overnight, 2-Day, and 3-Day services are available to the above states at an additional cost. Call us soon and ship your juice while it’s cool. $60 for 1 case, $90 for two cases, and $60 for three cases going to the other states, OR for those of you that prefer receiving your wine via bootlegger (it’s cheaper on big orders). A $10 residential delivery fee is waived on purchases of 3 cases or more. We prefer shipping to businesses because we need an adult signature for delivery. Get yourself some deals. 800-356-3970.

These are all the wines from last month at SUPER DISCOUNTED prices. $50 ships 3 cases anywhere. WOW!

1.) 2006 CHAPPELLET, Pritchard Hill Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$105.00 regular price ($135)

2.) 2006 CONTINUUM, Oakville Estate, Proprietary Red Wine–$105.00 ($135)

3.) 2006 ETUDE, Cabernet Sauvignon, “Rutherford”, Napa Valley–$75.00 ($100)

4.) 2006 ETUDE, GBR, Estate Grown, Carneros–$48.00 ($48)

5.) 2004 RUBISSOW, Cabernet Sauvignon, Mount Veeder, Napa Valley–$54.00 ($60)

6.) 2006 SHAFER VINEYARDS, “ONE POINT FIVE”, Cabernet Sauvignon, SLD–$55.00 ($70)

7.) 2005 JOHN ANTHONY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$50.00 ($60)

8.) 2006 PIERSON-MEYERS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$65.00 ($80)

9.) 2005 COHO, Cabernet Sauvignon, Summit Vine Ranch, Diamond Mountain–$48.00 ($60)

10.) 2007 COHO, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County–$35.00 ($45)

11.) 2006 MOUNT EDEN VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Santa Cruz Mountains–$40.00 ($48)

12.) 2006 MONIZ, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County–$17.00 ($21)

13.) 2005 CALERA, Pinot Noir, Reed Vineyard, Mt. Harlan, Thirtieth Anniversary-$42.00 ($52)

14.) 2005 COHO, Merlot, Michael Black Vineyard, Coombsville, Napa Valley–$51.00 ($60)

15.) 2006 PHILIP TOGNI, “Tanbark Hill”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Spring Mountain District, Napa-$44.00 ($52)

16.) 2006 ORIN SWIFT, “PAPILLON”, Napa Valley Red Wine–$45.00 ($55)

17.) 2005 MT. EDEN VINEYARDS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountains-$44.00 ($52)

18.) 2007 CASTALIA, Pinot Noir, Rochioli Vineyard, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County-$42.00 ($50)

19.) 2006 BEAR & LION, Old Vine Zinfandel, Napa Valley–$20.00 (Howell Mountain Vineyards) ($24)

20.) 2006 BECKMEN VINEYARDS, Cuvee Le Bec, Santa Ynez Valley–$16.00 ($21)

21.) 2006 BECKMEN VINEYARDS, Syrah, Santa Ynez Valley–$18.00 ($26)

These are probably the best prices on these wines anywhere, so go over to the phone and dial 1-800-356-3970.

FEATURED WINES

Don’t miss our sweet stimulus shipping deal. FREE shipping in California on 12+ bottle orders and $60.00 for three cases going anywhere else. Tax-free out of state and rickdickulous pricing make these the best deals in the biz.

2005 CORNERSTONE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$59.00

When I tasted the premier release of 1991 Cornerstone, I was blown away. Fifteen years and a lot of brain cells ago and I can somehow still remember it. These new wines remind me of that same, old school greatness. This awesome “Napa Valley” Cabernet Sauvignon is dosed with a good portion of estate grown Howell Mountain fruit, giving it bionic powers compared to other “Napa Valley” Cabs. Thirty year veteran-of-the-vine Celia Welch is responsible for the small miracle of cramming Howell Mountain into these bottles along with making some of Napa’s best and most sought after wines. You’ll be making memories when you experience the polished and refined yet wildly untamed flavors of Cornerstone. Wild blackberry, loamy black cherry, chewy cassis and earthiness are amplified with rock solid structure and a dose of toasty oak. It’s a wine that makes drunks leap from the wagon, it makes men charming, it makes women naughty, it makes adults out of children, spreads happiness, joy, peace, and can extend your life. That’s good, because you’ll have a good ten tears to drink it once it’s in your cellar, but don’t wait another day to procure it because this great 2005 “Napa Valley” Cabernet is sure to vanish like memories of all those great wines I can’t remember. If you’re a real hard hitter, then you might want some of the straight goods from Howell Mountain……….

2004 CORNERSTONE, Cabernet Sauvignon, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley–$90.00

The second this wine hits the glass, you’ll be wowed by the color alone. The flavors are massive with velvety, integrated tannins that suggest cellaring for a few years. It’s a huge wine, made especially for mountain fruit fanatics.

2005 RAMEY, Claret, Napa Valley–$26.00

Time for a change? This wonderful Napa Valley Claret used to be $38.00 in the “good ole days”. Since “the change” is on, and we’re all movin’ on up, it’s time to celebrate with some juice you thought you’d never be able to afford. Thanks to pretend bailout money that I received in my imagination I am now able to offer you pricing never before dreamed possible. Can’t pay now? Want some wine on the front? No problem, I got your back. When every other institution of liquid is tightening up, Groezinger’s is here to help. At 1/3 the normal price, you’d be stupid to by the discounted sludge in your town when you could by my discounted, really delicious, un-sludge-like wines. This claret is a blend of 54%Cab, 25%Merlot, 12%Cab Franc, 1%PV, 1%Malbec, and 7%Syrah. It’s intended to drink now and for the next seven years which is the approximate length of a good to great depression. The fruit comes from renowned vineyards like Jericho Canyon, Snowden, Larkmead and Hyde making this one of the best deals you could find on high-pedigree wine. Parker and Tanzer like it and said it has flavors of cassis, blackberry, dried rose petal, white pepper, cherries, underbrush, black currants, and cedar. Freaking awesome wine at rock bottom pricing.

2005 RAMEY, Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast–$26.00

Maybe you hate claret and can’t stand chardonnay that costs more than twenty six bucks. With summer coming, wouldn’t it be nice to have a lot of killer chard to ice down and chug with sloppy joes and bacon wrapped hot dogs? Wouldn’t it be nice if it tasted like fifty bucks and cost only twenty six? The answers are “yes” and “yes”. The grapes come from the Sonoma Stage Vineyard, a cool and windy site west of Petaluma, obviously near the Sonoma Coast. Thanks to Dave Ramey’s winemaking expertise, the resulting wine is exquisite. I don’t know where you could possibly find a better chard for this price. Maybe in heaven. Flavors of lemon custard, orange blossom, apple tart, and pineapple will amaze you in a medium-to-full-bodied way and will impress the snottiest of Chardonnay snobs. Mineral and light oak nuances wrap up this beautiful Chard with a kiss of class that whispers, “This used to be forty bucks”. Like a $5 hit of pure MDMA from a vending machine in 1984 in San Marcos, Texas, this wine is so sinfully good and priced so sweetly, it could turn nuns into sluts. Just think what it can do for your Sunday afternoons.

2008 ENKIDU, Sauvignon Blanc, Kick Ranch, Sonoma County–$21.00

The Kick Ranch is a super cool (temperature) vineyard in Santa Rosa, along the west side of the Mayacamas Range. It is NOT where Justin has been for the last thirty days, although there is a very good rehab center close to the vineyard. Low yielding vines hang on for dear life on a steep, rocky slope atop the Rincon Valley. Reducing the vigor of Sauvignon Blanc vines is a huge part of making great wine. The grapes were whole cluster pressed and the juice was barrel fermented in 10% new oak with a partial malo-lactic fermentation to preserve the naturally high acidity. It’s one of the best S.B.’s I’ve tasted from California and is the perfect spring and summer wine. The nose is bright and vibrant with aromas of stone, peach, and nectarine that lead into a euphoric palate of green apple, lees, mineral, almond powder, and a hint of oak. It’s spectacularly delicious wine, guaranteed to keep you from kicking your habit.

Did I mention the free shipping in California on case orders? Or the $60 three case shipping deal anywhere in the continental U.S.? Can you find a better shipping price than “free” or “20 bucks a case”? Didn’t think so.

2006 PALOMA, Merlot, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley–$48.00

What’s the best merlot in California? Probably this one. What do other wineries like Pahlmeyer, Duckhorn, or Amuse Bouche charge for their BIG merlots? Those are ninety bucks and up. Who the hell can afford that except for the lucky few who got bailed out? You don’t have to be two months late on your mortgage to benefit from this stimulus package. Estate grown on the very top of Spring Mountain, this merlot possesses magical powers that are rarely wielded by this usually humble varietal. Five years ago this was Spectator’s #1 wine in the world. I think this wine is better than the 2001, showing stronger structure, deeper extraction, better balance, and brighter fruit. This stellar vintage from Paloma is ageable for up to fifteen years. Aromas of blackberry, chocolate, and tobacco leaf foreshadow the upcoming flavor assault. The flavors are persistent and strong, leading with black fruits, spice, mineral, cocoa and a kiss of very expensive French oak. The mouthfeel is huge and almost doesn’t fit in your face. It pairs great with grilled steaks, mushrooms, lamb, braised shortribs, or almost anything meaty, fatty, and charred.

2007 STORYBOOK MOUNTAIN, Zinfandel, Napa Estate, Mayacamas Range–$28.00

Formerly weighing in at $35, I starved this champ and then beat the crap out of it till it was seven bucks cheaper. Jerry Seps is the current “godfather” of Napa Zinfandel, with over 30 vintages under his belt. This legendary vineyard was originally planted in the 1880’s and then replanted in 1976 by the Sep’s. They have some of the oldest caves in Napa (circa 1889), their estate is beautiful, and you should visit their winery if you haven’t. They also make the best Zinfandel in California. It ages better than Napa Cabernets and goes with a w i d e variety of cuisine from breakfast to bedtime. Blackberry pancakes and bacon in the morning, grilled sausages and kraut for lunch, barbequed ribs and garlic spuds for dinner, with dark chocolate all night long. It could be the only wine you’ll ever need. Storybook Mountain has been served in the Whitehouse multiple times and what could be more patriotic than drinking American wine from a varietal that is not completely native but could be if you made up a good story and lied. Now, that’s the American way. It tastes like wild, wild blackberries, blueberry concentrate, and spiced plum followed by a nice touch of whoop-ass (blood, copper, and fear) with tingling acidity and firm, fuzzy tannins. Do you like Zin AND Cab??? 2006 STORYBOOK MOUNTAIN, “ANTAEUS”, Estate Red, Napa–$35.00 (57%Zin,30%Cab,7%PV,6%ML)

2006 PALAZZO, Napa Valley, Red Wine–$43.00

Priced fifteen bucks below the manufactures suggested retail price, this is another ridiculous deal. When you buy four bottles of this juice, it’s like you get one free. Combine that with the shipping deal and you’re bailed out. Peter Franus is the consulting winemaker behind this great project with Scott Palazzo at the helm. Due to superb blending and eminent drinkability, the Palazzo has landed on almost every wine list of super-primo restaurants here, in New York and Las Vegas. Robert Parker gave this wine a big 94 points and said it should age for 10-15 years. That’s because this stuff rocks out hard today and won’t shoot its load for a good ten years. The blend is composed of Merlot, Cabernet Franc, and Cabernet Sauvignon in that order and the fruit comes from the nearly legendary Truchard Vineyard in Carneros. The nose is vibrant and explosive. On the palate flavors of black currant, chocolate, toasty oak, and espresso dust deliver satisfaction like Heidi Fleiss. This wine also has a very special finish and a happy ending.

2004 WHITEROCK, Claret, Estate Grown, Napa Valley–$32.00

The price of Whiterock is comin’ on down like the girl with big tits on the Price Is Right. Bounce a few of these jugs into your cellar and you’re gonna be a winner on MY PRICE IS RIGHT!! You’re not going to be spinning the wheel if you paid forty bucks for this. Or thirty five. Until the winery finds out, $32 bucks is my new improved price. This vineyard is situated just outside the Stag’s Leap District at the base of Atlas Peak. That’s like being stuck between great and even better. This estate wine is from hillside fruit grown in very rocky soil, thus the name. After the juice is bottled, it is cellared for two years in their caves prior to release insuring immediate gratification once you get your paws on it. The blend is 60% Cabernet Sauvignon, 20% Merlot, 15% Cabernet Franc, and 5% Petite Verdot. Masterfully blended, the wine is seamless and full on the palate gushing with velvety, hillside-esque flavors that keep giving and giving, like if Mother Theresa chugged two bottles of Ramey Chard. The Whiterock Claret develops and ages fabulously, which is really cool for a wine that costs less than a clock radio or four jars of Gold Bond powder.

2006 DOMAINE SERENE, Pinot Noir, Evenstad Reserve, Willamette Valley–$50.00

This is the pride of the Willamette Valley. The Evanstad Reserve has become the mark to beat for Oregon Pinot. It is very ageable and will gain complexity for many years to come. Get yourself a sweet deal with this sweet price.

DEAR GROEZINGER CUSTOMER,
Thank you all for your generous outpouring of love and orders last month. As for those of you who didn’t order, we hope you’re still employed. It kept this newsletter at home instead of having to outsource it to India. There probably would’ve been fewer typos, but could you imagine, “This wine is very good with curry”, or “this wine is very, very good with mushy peas and potatoes and burnt flatbread”? It just wouldn’t be the same. Here’s something different…. ……Our E-Store is up and rolling. So if you can’t stand us or don’t want to talk to us you can now buy wine from store.groezingers.com without the struggle of trying to understand what we’re saying or having to pray that one of us remembered what you ordered. Check out the cool website and sign up your unsuspecting friends for something juicy from Napa Valley’s G-spot. Due to economic illness, Justin has been spending some quality time at his Sonoma estate with a few old friends like Cormac McCarthy, Les Murray, Flannery O’Connor, and John Steinbeck. People are entertaining and dining at home more so it’s important to stay stocked up with plenty-o-juice to go with your fanciest casseroles, gourmet hot dogs and the new generation of delicious HD-plasma-screen dinners. When you’re working up a thirst installing your new solar panels and electric car charging station, you’ll probably be wondering…………
“Does Groezinger’s really still have that phenomenal 3 case shipping deal?”  Only if you order three cases. WE SHIP ANYWHERE EXCEPT UTAH!! UPS IS AVAILABLE TO AK, CA, CO, CT, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IA, IL, LA, MI, MO, MN, NC, ND, NE, NH, NV, NY, NM, OH, OR, SC, TX, VA, WA, WV, WI & WY for about $25-$45 a case depending on how far away you are from us. Overnight, 2-Day, and 3-Day services are available to the above states at an additional cost. Call us soon and ship your juice while it’s cool.  $60 for 1 case, $90 for two cases, and $105 for three cases going to the other states, OR for those of you that prefer receiving your wine via bootlegger (it’s cheaper on big orders). A $10 residential delivery fee is waived on purchases of 3 cases or more. We prefer shipping to businesses because we need an adult signature for delivery. Give us a buzz and get Justin off the farm. For those of you that think Justin is in rehab, surprisingly, you’re wrong. He’s just waiting for you to call him.

SEND US YOUR MONEY NOW BEFORE HE TAKES IT ALL AND GIVES IT TO THE POOR PEOPLE.

Featured Wines
1.) 2006 CHAPPELLET, Pritchard Hill Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$126.00 The pride of Pritchard Hill.

2.) 2006 CONTINUUM, Oakville Estate, Proprietary Red Wine–$126.00 Spawn of Mondavi’s 2nd vintage.

3.) 2006 ETUDE, Cabernet Sauvignon, “Rutherford”, Napa Valley–$90.00 From where scarecrows come from.

4.) 2006 ETUDE, GBR, Estate Grown, Carneros–$55.00 71%Merlot, 12%Malbec, 12%Syrah  The premiere release from Etude’s Grace Benoist Ranch, an extremely rocky site composed of volcanic soil. 1,200 cases produced.

5.) 2006 GHOST BLOCK, Cabernet Sauvignon, Oakville Estate, Napa Valley–$55.00 We ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost

6.) 2006 SHAFER VINEYARDS, “ONE POINT FIVE”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District–$63.00

7.) 2005 JOHN ANTHONY, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$50.00 A super-sleeper. Tastes like 75 bucks.

8.) 2006 PIERSON-MEYERS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$80.00 This is basically SAGE RESERVE.

9.) 2005 COHO, Cabernet Sauvignon, Summit Vine Ranch, Diamond Mountain–$54.00  An unbelievable deal from this winery that’s exploding with great press. Awesome Diamond Mountain Cab for half the suspected price.

10.) 2007 COHO, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County–$40.00 You don’t have to swim up a creek, ejaculate in a sandy hole and die to reel in this great RRV Pinot Noir. Just call us or go to www.groezingers.com.

11.) 2006 MOUNT EDEN VINEYARDS, Estate Pinot Noir, Santa Cruz Mountains–$44.00 Possibly the most Burgundian Pinot in California. It ages fabulously and pairs perfectly with your best grilled steaks.

12.) 2006 MONIZ, Pinot Noir, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County–$19.00 Rarely do we see “Russian River Valley”, “Pinot Noir”, and “$19″ on a bottle at the same time. This wine is purchased juice from one of Sonoma’s best and most respected Pinot producers. It didn’t make the $50 cut but tastes 16 bucks better than 19 bucks. Get it?

13.) 2005 CALERA, Pinot Noir, Reed Vineyard, Mt. Harlan, Thirtieth Anniversary-$47.50 Celebrate the legend.

14.) 2005 COHO, Merlot, Michael Black Vineyard, Coombsville, Napa Valley–$54.00 This wine eats bolts and shits silver dollars.It’s one big, bad ass Merlot that’s a killer for hire. Pay us now, before we whack you!800-356-3970

FEATURED RED WINES

These wines are so good you’ll wish you were wearing Depends when you taste them. From $20 to $55 these wines outperform anything in their price range. Don’t be a poopie-pants and miss these great deals.

2006 PHILIP TOGNI, “Tanbark Hill”, Cabernet Sauvignon, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley-$48.00 Everyone likes a good deal, even Robert Parker. He called this wine “gorgeous” and “sexy”, which is what happens when you don’t get laid much and you have to put your affections towards bottles of fine wine. From an estate on the upper reaches of Spring Mountain, this Cabernet shows all the depth, elegance and power of its more expensive sibling without the required wait of ten years for drinkability. In a word, this wine says “now”. You might get hit by a bus tomorrow(especially in D.C.), so you might as well have a glass of wine redolent of cassis, cigar box, mountain sage, and mineral tonight. Do we even need to mention that this is half the price of the Philip Togni Estate?  Yeah. Seriously folks, this is one helluva deal on top-notch Cab from Spring Mountain. Bonus: It’ll age great for ten years.

2005 MT. EDEN VINEYARDS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountains-$48.00 Like Bordeaux, but hate the French? Also hate Canadians, for that matter? This wine is for you. Actually, if you like red wine in any facet and/or you absolutely love the French, this wine is for you also. Black in the glass and guaranteed to make your dentist love you for tooth-whitening expenses, the ‘06 Mt. Eden Cab oozes blackberry and plum jam, incense, graphite, forest floor, and dried morel mushroom. If you have confidence in your longevity, you can easily lay this sucker down for ten plus years, or you could just pull the cork and party like its 1999. That was ten years ago, but we still got the funk. Sort of like the Mt. Eden Cab vines, planted in the 80’s from cuttings originating from the Martin Ray era of 1952. Still got the funk. If you have any class and/or resources left in this new economy, you’ll surely be game for some of this magnificent juice. This is the best Cabernet from Mount Eden in six years and if you’ve loved them in the past, it would be a regrettable act of stupidity to miss out on this vintage.

2007 CASTALIA, Pinot Noir, Rochioli Vineyard, Russian River Valley, Sonoma County-$50.00
Terry Bering has been the cellarmaster at Rochioli Vineyards for sixteen years, producing practically unattainable and highly coveted Pinot Noir. Sourced from Rochioli’s West Block and the adjacent Allen Vineyard, this Pinot Noir displays all the classic characteristics of the appellation, from dark cherry, strawberry, cola, to more subtle hints of allspice and clove. The wine hung out in 30% new French oak barrels for fifteen months prior to bottling and only 326 cases were produced. Designed to age and develop, it should be in its prime when it’s four to seven years old (2011 to 2014). If you like Russian River Valley and aren’t hip to this, it’s time to hip up before you slip up. We only get 10 cases, so call soon if you’re hipped up and ready to get hooked up.   www.groezingers.com    800-356-3970

2006 BEAR & LION, Old Vine Zinfandel, Napa Valley–$21.50   (Howell Mountain Vineyards)
Remember Howell Mountain Vineyards, the one with the dark green label? This wine is theirs, mostly from Beatty Ranch and Black Sears Vineyards, with a small amount of old vine fruit from the Valley floor. The resulting Zinfandel is ridiculously good and so cheap it’s almost like they’re giving it away. And who doesn’t love wine with animals on the label? Deer, frogs, dogs, horses, fish, birds and foxes? How about some animals that kick ass and chow their prey like Bears and Lions?  The Howell Mountain fruit dominates the flavor profile with loamy, earth infused red fruits, a rich mouthfeel, and a finish that lasts as long as it takes to open another one. This wine is a superb pairing for grilled or barbequed meats, pizza and Italian dishes. To my surprise, you don’t have to pay $45 for old vine Zinfandel from Howell Mountain anymore. I guess it was time for change.

2005 VERAISON, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stagecoach Vineyard, Napa Valley–$55.00
Speaking of change, veraison is the term that refers to the color change red grapes go through on their journey to maturity and ripeness. It’s when the grapes changes from  sharp, unpalatable, pale marbles, into dark, rich, sweet berries, full of flavor, color and promise. Come to think of it, this would be the perfect wine for the White House Cella. Maybe the “Big-O” could bail me out with a hundred case order. Oh dammit. I almost forgot they drink Kendall Jackson. You can take a brother out of Chicago, but you can’t………Anyway, about the wine. The Krupp’s own Stagecoach Vineyards, cut into the mountains east of Oakville, and they sell most of their fruit to Napa’s best wineries who in turn charge a lot more than fifty-five bucks for Cabernet, sometimes upwards of $225. That’s the same price as four bottles of this wine. Veraison Cab is dark purple and very extracted with a mouthfeel just this side of molé sauce. It screams MOUNTAIN FRUIT and is built like a brick shithouse, if you’re old enough to know what that means. Powerful flavors of earthy black-black cherry, plum skin, pencil lead and dark chocolate are lifted and boosted by perfectly integrated French oak. The finish is long and complex with firm acidity and warm, fuzzy tannins.

KILLER WINES FOR UNDER $24.00

During these times you might need your wine to go further or you may just need a lot more wine. Here are some items that deliver big, high-performance flavors that satisfy and save at the same time. Drink & save. Save & drink.

2006 ROBERT CRAIG, Mount George Cuvee, Napa Valley, Red Wine–$23.00 (67%CS, 31%CF, 2%ML) When I think of Robert Craig wines, I think of super high quality Cabs that cost $50 to $75. Here’s one for $23 that drinks like the more expensive stuff, costs 1/3 the price, and kicks ass! The grapes are from a vineyard just southwest of the Stag’s Leap District. Dark, powerful and very delicious, this wine needs no apologies for its smaller price tag. There are plenty of $100 wines that can’t deliver what this little stud throws out. It has all the black cherry, cassis and spice of its pricier siblings, without making you pay to play. It’s like half-priced wine, like 2-fer-1, like something for nothing, like seeing double, like cocaine in Panama, like four boobs instead of two, like an extra, unexpected orgasm.

2006 NOVY CELLARS, Syrah, Amber Ridge Vineyard, Russian River Valley–$20.00
Sticking with the theme of extra orgasms……..This wine will help you get laid and here’s how. It’s tastes like a $45 bottle of super-premium California Syrah and costs only twenty bucks. When you buy two bottles, it’s like saving fifty bucks. That’s enough to go to www.pocodolce.com and buy your lover a box of burnt caramel bittersweet tiles. If you follow these simple instructions you will be having sex soon, even if you live alone and have no one in your life. Deep, earthy nuances fuse with powerful poached bing cherry and plum-blood flavors creating a small monster that ties you up, has its way with you, and runs off with your chocolate. Kind of like Cookie Monster’s perverted, chocolate loving, convicted sex offender brother, Nookie Monster. NOOOOOOKIEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2006 BECKMEN VINEYARDS, Cuvee Le Bec, Santa Ynez Valley–$19.00
Weighing in at just under fourteen pounds(£), this featherweight fighter is bigger than he appears. You better take off your kid gloves and get some brass knuckles when you square off with this bruiser. The blend of 50%Grenache, 28%Syrah, 15%Mouvedre, and 17%Counoise possesses wonderfully refreshing and authentic Rhone characteristics while gushing dark, bold fruit that was perfectly ripened in the late Indian summer of 2006. Rich and spicy mouth-coating black fruits square off with the earthy, meaty flavors creating a complex and sophisticated fighter that hits well below the money belt of most serious contenders. It’s a seriously good wine at a seriously great price. If you’re a real tough guy then you might want to try 2006 BECKMEN, Estate Syrah, Santa Ynez Valley–$23.95

2005 Domaine Sainte-Eugenie, Corbieres, Languedoc-Roussillon–$12.99 This is just ridiculous. How wine this good is produced, bottled, shipped, and distributed for such a modest price is beyond me. Maybe they don’t have child labor laws in France or maybe they’re stealing grapes from their neighbors. Domaine Sainte-Eugenie is the heart of Corbieres with an 800 year history of viticulture. The blend is 60% old vine Carignane (65 yrs. old) with the remainder being composed of 25 to 46 year old Grenache and Syrah. This wine is the finest from the region showing minerality and complexity rarely found in a wine of this price. It’s ultra clean and balanced with velvety red fruit & a super smooth mouthfeel. You can enjoy it with or without food, by yourself or with your nookie monster, day and night, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. There are already two cases at my house.

TOKEN WHITE WINES

2007 LIOCO, Chardonnay, Sonoma County–$19.00
1) Do you love Chard and hate oak? (2) Do you love Chard and hate paying 30, 40, or 50 bucks for it? (3) Do you love Chard that’s clean, bright and enlightening with a fat mid-palate, lots of complexity and long, lingering crisp finish? If you said “yes” then it’s your lucky day. For less money than a bag of organic cat food you could be enjoying the best deal going on California Chardonnay. Steel tank fermented, aged sur-lie, bottled un-fined and unfiltered.

2007 MOUNT EDEN VINEYARDS, Chardonnay, Wolff Vineyard, Edna Valley–$18.50
Maybe you love Chard but answered “no” to question #1 and “yes” to #2. If so, then you need some of this incredibly good and cheap, moderately oaky, plump and rich and absolutely delicious Chard from our friends at Mount Eden.

2007 STEPHEN TEST, Sauvignon Blanc, O’Neel Ranch, Russian River Valley–$20.00
This awesome Sauvignon Blanc was whole cluster pressed and fermented in neutral French oak without undergoing malolactic. Flavors of melon, pear, and citrus are accented by the lightest nuance of hay, not grass or cat piss. The low alcohol of 13.5% retains the crisp acidity from the cool climate site and makes it a great food wine. 800-356-3970

WWW.GROEZINGERS.COM

DEAR GROEZINGER CUSTOMER,
Dear friends, there is an old saying that goes something like “Nobody wants to visit you when you’re sick, but they all want to bring flowers to the funeral.” So here’s the deal, we need you to buy some wine this month if you want us to still be here next month. Really. This is no joke. Justin is going on “extended leave” (i.e. getting laid off) and the only way we are going to make it is if you show us some love and make a purchase now. Otherwise it is possibly possible that next month’s newsletter will be the last one you will ever get from us. Know anyone else that could spend a few bucks on wine? Tell them to call us, too. This is one of those rare opportunities where you can do something for your friends that will be immediately beneficial to them, and you get something tangible in return for doing the right thing. Thank you in advance. Another way you can help us out is by checking out our sweet new website and signing up to receive our newsletters via email, saving trees and cutting our mailing costs at the same time. While you are there you can learn a little something about what wines pair well with Rose Brand® Pork Brains with Milk Gravy. If you are wondering “Are these guys serious?” or “Will my purchase really make a difference?” The answer is yes. And if you’re wondering “Does Groezinger’s really still have that phenomenal 3 case shipping deal?”  Only if you buy some wine we do.  WE SHIP ANYWHERE EXCEPT UTAH!! UPS IS AVAILABLE TO AK, CA, CO, CT, DC, FL, GA, HI, ID, IA, IL, LA, MI, MO, MN, NC, ND, NE, NH, NV, NY, NM, OH, OR, SC, TX, VA, WA, WV, WI & WY for about $25-$45 a case depending on how far away you are from us. Overnight, 2-Day, and 3-Day services are available to the above states at an additional cost. Call us soon and ship your juice while it’s cool.  $55 for 1 case, $85 for two cases, and $95 for three cases going to the few remaining non-UPSable states, OR for those of you that prefer receiving your wine via bootlegger (it’s cheaper on big orders). A $10 residential delivery fee is waived on purchases of 3 cases or more. We prefer shipping to businesses because we need an adult signature for delivery. Seriously people, we need you to stimulate our economy this month.

1.) 2005 SCHOOL HOUSE VINEYARDS, Pinot Noir, Spring Mountain District, Napa Valley-$85.00 Happy Valentines Day!! Here’s the latest edition of what has become one of our most anticipated releases every year. As sexy as ever, this little beauty struts her stuff across your tongue and into your soul like viniferous vixen. I can’t even describe what it tastes like, and don’t really need to. This is the Cult of all Cult wines, and you need to call soon if you want some. Oh and by the way, don’t bother looking for this anywhere else. They don’t have it. Only 200 cases made.
2.) 2005 SCHOOL HOUSE VINEYARDS, “Mescolanza”, Venerable Field Blend, Spring Mountain-$45.00 The other excruciatingly bad-ass wine from School House is this Zin/Petit-Sirah/Carignane blend that for some reason we don’t understand ends up tasting more like a California Chateauneuf du Pape than Zinfandel. Overwhelmingly drinkable and food friendly, this is the only thing you’ll want on your dinner table other than your naked spouse.
3.) 2005 DUNN VINEYARDS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Howell Mountain, Napa Valley-$75.00 Yet another old school classic, this winery has moved into a more focused and slightly more contemporary style without loosing it’s rusticity, tannic structure, and overall hugeness. Agreeable until the end-times, this Dunn shows the unmistakable deep dark and brutal black fruit flavors, crushed mint, leather, mineral and cracked white pepper indicative of mature vines and Howell Mountain terroir. This is a fantastic vintage that is a must have for the serious Cabernet connoisseur.
4.) 2005 ROBERT SINSKEY, “POV”, Bordeaux Style Blend (ML/CF/CS), Los Carneros, Napa-$35.00 Another super-stunner from Sinskey’s 25 year old biodynamically farmed vines. Thick and gooey, rich and chewy red.
5.) 2006 SNOWDEN, Cabernet Sauvignon, “The Ranch”, Estate Grown, Napa Valley-$39.00 92 RP > $40!!
6.) 2007 THREE WINE COMPANY, “Old Vines”, California Red Wine-$18.00 Need a killer bottle of red for under $20 bucks?!? Matt Cline, formerly of Cline Cellars, has crafted this little gem from 90+ year old Zin, Petit Sirah, Carignane, Mouvedre, and Alicante Bouschet. It’s like what the Prisoner used to be like before it cost $35. Blueberry, raspberry, violet, espresso, smoked meat and cracked pepper flavors and aromas and flavors intermingle in a drinking experience you can still afford to have. This will pair well with anything or nothing, and kills the pain.

CALL US FOR DEALS ON OUR IN STORE INVENTORY!! EVERYTHING MUST GO!! THANKS!!

FEATURED RED WINES

Check out our sweet new website and sign up for our e-letter so we can save some trees and money. Then call us up and asked to be taken off the paper list. Then while you’re on the line, you could get some juice. Sounds fun and techy.

2005 HENDRY VINEYARDS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley–$50.00   Let’s try again. Are you ready?
Sometimes wine reviews can be hard to decipher. That’s why we give it to you straight and true in simple words that are easy for people to understand. The 2005 Hendry Napa Cab is a rare and perfect example of the varietal. Only a fool would miss a wine of this quality for such a modest price. George Hendry is a genius and makes cyclotrons. That’s what makes CAT scans and MRI machines work. Most winemakers aren’t that smart. So….If you like wine that was made by all those dumber winemakers, just imagine how much you’ll love a wine made with the rare gift of natural born brilliance. Not to mention the 33 year old vines, two tons per acre production, state of the art winery, French oak cooperage, or the fact that George is the premier superfly winemaking pimp. If you age this wine until it is ten years old it’ll taste twice as expensive. In six years you could double your money on this wine and that’s how we’re gonna turn this thing around. C’mon my fellow American, bail yourself out with a case of Hendry. Flavors of violet, cherry, cassis, tobacco, black licorice, and caramel are supported and amplified by super-fine integrated tannins and solid structure. Only 1300 cases of this spectacular Cab were produced from Mt. Veeder’s foothills.

2005 ILSLEY FAMILY VINEYARDS, Cabernet Sauvignon, Stag’s Leap District, Napa Valley–$52.00
Here’s another incredible deal on super-high-pedigree Napa Cabernet. The Ilsleys have been farming this vineyard for over 40 years. Located next door to Shafer, their soil is practically sacred and the wine tastes like it was made by Bacchus for Dionysus. Velvety Stag’s Leap tannins and dark purple fruit gently hold the drinker in enological bliss, sort of like getting it on with “Grapes” from Fruit Of The Loom^TM commercials. We recently tasted through Ilsley’s older vintages and came to the conclusion that these wines age great. With the average price of  SLD Cabernets around $100 this represents an incredible value, too. That’s what we need these days, Somethin’ for nothin’. Since this costs 52 bucks and is worth 100 bucks, that’s $48 worth of somethin’ for nothin’. “Something” includes flavors of spiced and poached black cherry, dusty mineral, cherry flavored velour roll-ups, and Margaux marinated beef jerky, all wrapped up in French oak frosting. Like escargot, caviar and bearded-clam, it sounds disgusting but tastes great!!

2006 “THE OFFERING” (Sans Liege Wines), Santa Barbara County–$23.00
Maybe what yer lookin’ fer is some wine that tastes like $45 but costs $23. Here’s your victim. Curt Schalchin is practically sacrificing this pure and untainted specimen of greatness. Rip the cork out and let the blood flow!!  It’s like this; 41% Grenache, 36% Syrah, 21% Mouvedre, 2% Viognier. If you were as smart as George Hendry you’d know that this is what you NEED to survive if you can’t manufacture cyclotrons. “The Offering” offers up the most authentic and genuine Rhone characteristics you possibly hope for from a California vineyard. It’s bright, clean and has a huge set of nuts that swings low and deep like a sweet hairy chariot. When you sacrifice this and pour it on your friends they will fear and respect you like an Aztec god, cowering and running from the massive girth and fury of your twenty three dollar wine. Meaty, bloody and earthy, this wine possesses the souls of other wines. It pairs great with big fatty foods like ribs, steaks, lamb and pork chops. Plus, the wicked label looks awesome on the altar.

2006 CHARTER OAK, Zinfandel, Monte Rosso Vineyard, Sonoma Valley-$50.00
Sometimes it’s important to keep your wits about you and realize we’ve been through this stuff before. Take the Monte Rosso Vineyard for example. Planted in the 1880’s, when Grover Cleveland was still President, this vineyard has survived floods, droughts, WWI, Prohibition, the Great Depression, WWII, the Cold War, Vietnam, the Gas Crisis, Reaganomics, George Bush I, Monica Lewinsky, American Idol, Fox News, George Bush II, the Housing Crisis, and will probably still be around when cockroaches are making wine for mutants after the apocalypse. Imbibing the massive flavors of black and blueberry, tobacco, clove, and sage found in this Zin will make you as long lasting as this wine’s never ending silky and satiny finish. Be your own hero and pick up a case of this time capsule.

2005 ROBERT SINSKEY, MERLOT, Los Carneros–$26.50  Sinskey has just released a Merlot that is possibly their best effort to date. Vine maturity combined with organic, bio-dynamic farming and great winemaking have boosted this wine into the big leagues. I’ll go out on a limb and compare this wine to one of your favorites, Paradigm Merlot. The nice thing is that this wine is half the price of that wine which makes this one twice as much fun. The texture is rich and thick on the tongue with wonderfully sexy tannins that practically hug your palate. Concentrated and seamless flavors of blueberry, cherry, mushroom and earth keep going and going. You can chug it now or lay it down for a few years if you have that kind of control.

MORE RED WINE YOU SHOULD BUY FROM US TODAY

2006 COHO, “Headwaters”, Red Wine (62%Cab/34%Merlot/4%Verdot), Napa Valley-$36.50
Yet another of a long list of reasons you should buy a bunch of wine from us this month is this incredible value from our friends at Coho. Sourced from vineyards in Coombsville near Stag’s Leap, including the immaculate Michael Black vineyard (formerly a Paul Hobbs vineyard designate) this is a wine that could have been easily marketed at twice the price. Unlike the greedy bastards on Wall Street and in the White House that got us into this mess in the first place, Brooks Painter (winemaker) and Gary Lipp (wine marketer) decided not to do that. Like Rick Beard walking down Washington Street with a bag of pretzels and a Cup ‘O Noodles, these guys are keeping it real.  Extremely dense and polished, this is a deep purple tooth and tongue staining wine that practically explodes in your face with wild berry and stewed plum, nicely nuanced by exotic spices and a smack of sweet French oak, and a velvety finish of ripe blueberries fine high toned tannins. Headwaters (and you know how hard it is for us to make a crack at the name) is one of the few wines that will drink well at every point of it’s development, so you can drink it now or put it down for five to ten years. If you buy enough of it this month we might even be here for you to call and thank us.

2006 SOTER  VINEYARDS, North Valley Oregon Pinot Noir(Willamette Valley)–$36.00
Yo!! Give it up for the north side. Tony Soter has produced a great example of what Oregon Pinot Noir should be; tasty, textured, food friendly, bright, clean, aromatic, and NOT $75.00.  Farmed without pesticides or herbicides, the grapes were fermented in small open vats and aged in second and third year oak for ten months. It was racked only once and then bottled. The resulting wine is balanced, silky and pure with flavors like cherries, raspberries, rose petals, spice and guava and IS NOT $75.00.  When pairing with foods, this wine is extremely versatile. The winery recommends serving it with Northwest Salmon, coq au vin, or even Thai and Vietnamese dishes. 2006 was a great vintage in the northern Willamette Valley and the experts at Soter have truly captured and bottled that greatness.

2006 MAIER FAMILY, Meritage, Sonoma County–$30.00 (650 cases)
This is a jazzy little riff from Pride’s next door neighbors, the Maier’s. If you or any of your kids were in high school or college band, chances are you’ve already put your lips on something the Maiers have made since they’ve been the
largest producer of reeds for woodwind instruments since the 1930’s. Putting your mouth on this is considerably more enjoyable unless you or your kid are some sort of musical prodigy, because nothing tastes worse than listening to a sax or clarinet player that can’t play. Ouch. This 100% estate grown blend of 72% Cab, 21% Merlot, 3% each Malbec and Cab Franc, and 1% Petit Verdot offers up a show-stopping display of bold black and red fruits and melted chocolate with all the intensity of a Charlie Parker solo. The vineyard is just on the Sonoma side of Spring Mountain and shows more bold mountain fruit characteristics than most Sonoma red blends. It pairs well with all sorts of foods, will drink great for at least seven more years, and eases the pain of bleeding ears and splintered lips.

FEATURED WHITE WINES

2007 DO FERREIRO, Albariño, Rias Biaxas, Spain–$26.00
With all the outsourcing going on in the labor markets these days, we thought we’d give it a try as well. So, we looked across the Atlantic for super fine white wines. The Salnas Valley in northeastern Spain is often referred to as the “footprint of God”, the “heel” being an impression between the three ridges that trap cool maritime breezes and the “toes” represented by the series of bays stretching into the ocean. One of the greatest Albariño producers in the world, Gerardo Mendez and the folks at Do Ferreiro combine masterful winemaking techniques, organic farming practices, and extremely old vine fruit to create a white wine unlike any on Earth. Highly expressive of both terroir and talent, this nectar is a an exotic mélange of quince, peach blossom, mineral, and ocean breeze. Incidentally, Rias Biaxas is world renowned for it’s sea food so you should have a few of these on hand while it’s still shellfish season here as nothing pairs better with oysters, clams, mussels, prawns, lobster and crab than this wine. If shellfish makes you sick and/or just might kill you, it’ll also pair well with chicken braised in white wine. If you buy enough then Justin won’t have to illegally immigrate to Spain to live under an assumed name, as much as he might like that. Keep Justin here.

2006 FORT ROSS, Chardonnay, Sonoma Coast-$28.00
We noticed that none of you were interested in the Flowers Chard last month for $45 a bottle. So how about a Chard from their neighbor that tastes every bit as good and costs $28? Lemon curd, kaffir lime leaf, honeysuckle and hazelnut characterize this fantastic wine at a price that you can afford. At least we hope you can. Talk to you soon.